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Northwest Florida Daily News, Fort Walton Beach, Del Stone Column: A Picture is Worth ... Well, Not As Much As I Had Feared

Posted on: Saturday, 10 June 2006, 18:00 CDT

By Del Stone, Northwest Florida Daily News, Fort Walton Beach

Jun. 10--People have been asking me all week: Just what was on that roll of film you had developed?

Well, they were pictures of ...

But wait.

To bring everyone up to speed: Last week I wrote about Mom finding a disposable camera by the road. It had several exposed and several unexposed photos, so she snapped a couple of her own and then promptly filed it in a drawer for years, fearing that if she had the film developed and the previous photographer had used it for, ahem, improper purposes, she might end up in the clutches of the Department of Homeland Security.

So I volunteered to use up the remaining exposures and have it developed, not thinking about the possible consequences until after I had dropped it in the slot of the film bin at a local grocery store. So, what was on that roll of film? Well, they were pictures of ... Hang on. I know it was a dumb thing to do, turning in that film to be developed. But no dumber than the time I hid the model airplane from my cats in the oven, then forgot it was in there and started to cook a pizza. Or the time I put storm shutters on my second-story window before Hurricane Dennis struck, then realized I couldn't get down from the roof. Or the time I mailed my rent check to Gulf Power.

Dumb. But I did it. And now I must live with the consequences of my decision.

And just what are those consequences? What exactly was on those photographs?

Ahem. I need just a minute.

Forgive me, but I'm still nervous about this. I mean, the mystery pictures could have been anything: audition photos for Linda Lovelace; the whereabouts of Jimmy Hoffa, or Osama bin Laden for that matter; or somebody packing a glass bottle in their beach cooler. Instead of writing this column, I could be writing a letter to my attorney from a jail cell with a bar code stamped on my forehead while being monitored by a guy named Bruiser.

By the same token, they could have been dramatic photographs of a waterspout, or beautiful panoramas of Teton Valley, or magnificently composed snapshots of flowers, beach vistas or puppies. Maybe I could have had them enlarged and framed to bring a moment of joy into the sterile, empty existence of, say, my downstairs bathroom.

But no.

They were none of those things.

And by now you're saying, "Del, if you don't tell me what was in the damn pictures I am going to personally drive down to the Daily News and physically assault you upside the head."

Well, if you must know, they were:

1. A picture of somebody's foot, perched on a rock, wearing a dirty pair of shoes.

2. A picture of a thumb.

3. Three pictures of a street at night. The only sign I can make out is for a Waffle House.

4. A series of photos of a form being dug for a concrete patio.

You were expecting fires and explosions? Truth be told, I was.

By the way, if those photographs sound familiar you're welcome to the negatives. Somehow I don't feel I'll be going to jail over a foot, a thumb, a Waffle House sign and a patio. Daily News Deputy Managing Editor Del Stone Jr. can be reached at 863-1111, Ext. 433, or dels@nwfdailynews.com.

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Copyright (c) 2006, Northwest Florida Daily News, Fort Walton Beach

Distributed by Knight Ridder/Tribune Business News.

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Source: Northwest Florida Daily News

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