“Stopping Out”
By PHILIP WALZER
BY PHILIP WALZER THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
CHRISTOPHER GRAFFEO and Tolga Sursal , both Norfolk Academy alums from Virginia Beach, progressed on their path to success last month .
Both graduated from the University of Virginia, Graffeo majoring in English and American studies, Sursal in physics and music.
Like many other U.Va. alums, they’re going into business together. Their venture: the rock band Silent Diner .
The group, which includes two other recent U.Va. graduates, had gigs this month in Blacksburg and Staunton and will move to Boston in September .
“We all had second thoughts at some point,” said Graffeo, 22 , the drummer. “I could go to grad school or law school or med school. Maybe I’d have more security doing that. But there was a moment somewhere when I worried not what would happen if I do this, but how will I feel about myself if I don’t?”
Not every college graduate takes the fast track to a career or graduate school. Several are taking a detour for six months, a year or, in the case of Graffeo and Sursal, an unlimited period of time.
College officials say it’s difficult to determine if more graduates these days are “stopping out,” in the words of David Buckingham , the dean of students at Virginia Wesleyan College.
“It happens often enough that when it happens you’re not surprised,” he said.
W. Samuel Sadler , the vice president of student affairs at The College of William and Mary, thinks the trend has grown in the past decade.
“For more students, after they’ve gone through college, they’re ready for a break. They feel tired. They’ve pushed hard. They’ve focused on getting through.”
The graduates, Sadler said, also might see the time after college as the best chance to do community service.
The take-a-break approach also won an endorsement from Gov. Timothy M. Kaine , who took a year off law school to work with Catholic missionaries in Honduras .
“Next to my marriage, that one decision – made one day with an intuitive gut feeling – has had the greatest impact on what I’ve done with my life,” he said at U.Va.’s graduation last month .
Parents aren’t necessarily complaining about their children’s choices.
Josh Whibley graduated from the College of Charleston last year with a degree in business management and a minor in hospitality and tourism. Since college, he’s waited tables at a golf resort outside Charleston, traveled to New England, spent six months snowboarding in Colorado and working as a bellhop, visited Montana and Wyoming and returned to the golf resort, where he still works.
“I think it’s been a great year,” Whibley, 23 , said . “The way I’ve looked at it, I probably only have on e chance to do this.”
His mother doesn’t disagree.
“Very frankly, if this is what Josh wants to do for the rest of his life, that’s OK with me,” said Dr. Theresa Whibley , the chairwoman of the Norfolk School Board . “He’s on his own; he’s independent financially.”
She added: “Maybe too many of us started jobs we didn’t really want to do and didn’t have a chance to pursue the jobs we would have liked.”
Graffeo and Sursal aren’t the only recent U.Va. grads pursuing nonacademic interests in Charlottesville. David Powell , with his new history degree, is teaching tennis 50 hours a week at Farmington Country Club .
He’d like to stay there as a tennis pro past the summer and then backpack in South America or the Alps next summer. After that, who knows?
“Bottom line, I went from wanting to go to medical school to wanting to go to law school to thinking about going to business school,” said Powell, 21, who grew up in Norfolk. “Obviously, I don’t know what the hell I want to do. I have to relax a little bit and figure it out.”
Benjamin Duff took an unusual route both before and after college.
After graduating from Green Run High School in Virginia Beach in 1998 , he spent two years delivering appliances in Michigan and two more installing cabinets in Hampton Roads.
He enrolled at Virginia Wesleyan in 2002 and graduated last month with degrees in history and German. Now he’s laying brick for patios in Virginia Beach.
“I’m not stressing it,” Duff, 26 , said . “I need to make some money, and I have a good situation with the guy I’m working for.”
He’s applying to the Peace Corps this month. He also might take the exam for the Foreign Service next spring. Or apply for graduate school.
“More people ask me what am I planning to do than I ask myself,” he said.
Josh Hanbury , a 2005 U.Va. graduate from Norfolk, took the last year off to help decide his future.
Hanbury, 23 , interned with the Norfolk law firm of Stackhouse, Nexsen and Turrietta last summer . It confirmed his hunch that he wanted to be a lawyer.
He studied for the LSAT exam, took it in October and will begin at the University of Richmond’s law school in August . Since the fall, he’s been working at his father’s business, Portsmouth Lumber Corp. – some sales, some inventory, some driving.
He’s taken up residence in the third floor of his family’s house in Ghent. His mother, Jon Hanbury, considered his decision “a blessing.” His father, Paul, said: “I gained an extra year with my son, whose company I thoroughly enjoyed.”
And what does Graffeo’s mother think about his entry into the musical world?
“I feel good about it because I know it’s his true love,” Pat Graffeo said. “If you don’t try now, it’s only going to lead to disappointment later on, and I don’t want to see that. I think all the boys’ families are behind them.”
uE06E
Reach Philip Walzer at (757) 222-5105 or phil.walzer@ pilotonline.com.
(c) 2006 Virginian – Pilot. Provided by ProQuest Information and Learning. All rights Reserved.