July 10, 2008

More Dead-Horse Flogging As the Bandwagon Trundles On

By Linda Kennedy

MAMMA MIA! is having children. A new generation of me-too musicals is on its way. There's a Monkees musical. A Barry Manilow musical. Somewhere, I fear, Simon le Bon, Nick Rhodes and any Taylors left are pondering upon "Rio", a musical featuring the songs of Duran Duran. All they need is a storyline.

Nick Rhodes: "How about a young girl desperate to escape small- town life?"

Simon le Bon (sings): "Look now, look all around, there's no sign of life. Bop bop bop, bop bop bop bop bop, this is planet Earth."

Nick: "Exactly. She needs to get away. How does she fund her trip?"

John Taylor (producing his Visa card): "The reflex, flex, flex, flex. Why don't you use it, try not to bruise it?"

Simon: "Isn't there a credit crunch?"

Nick: "Simon, it's a musical. It's a greatest hits album, with an implausible story. There are no financial realities."

Simon: "There are for us. How do we get Rio in?"

Nick: "Erm, our heroine stops in Brazil. She wants to go up the Amazon. See the wildlife."

John: "Union of the Snake works there. We've gone too long without a tune."

Nick: "She falls in love with a logger, who's ruining the rainforest. When he dumps her, she decides to expose what they're doing."

Simon: "Does she track the loggers? Hungry like the Wolf might work. 'Scent and a sound, I'm lost and I'm found.' I could change it to 'he's lost and then found'. Or I could write some new material."

Nick and John, firmly: "No."

Simon: "Where's Girls on Film?"

Nick: "Our heroine could record the illegal logging on her mobile."

Simon sings: "There's a camera rolling on her back, on her back. Girls on Film, Two minutes later. Girls on film."

Nick, cutting him short: "Still no Rio, though. How about she puts her video on YouTube and it gets more

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