July 15, 2008

Brotherly Ugh: Madonna’s Bro Spills Nasty Dirt on Sis

By Lauren Beckham Falcone, Boston Herald

Jul. 15--Hell hath no fury like a brother who doesn't get to work on his sister's tours anymore.

We speak of Christopher Ciccone and his unauthorized bio of megastar Madonna, buoyed by buzz on both sides of the Atlantic. It hits stores today, and for those who crave an instant jolt of juicy deets, here's the lowdown:

For a tell-all, "Life with My Sister Madonna" (Simon, $29.95) tells very little: Madonna is a control freak with insomnia who lives off lists and schedules. She slept with a bunch of guys. She has some gross habits. She swears and yells a lot.

Sounds like a lot of sisters.

Yet, this is Madonna, and her brother is as obsessed with her as one of her fans.

Consider this ew-y passage, where Ciccone describes the pair dancing at the post-Oscar Vanity Fair party in 1999 -- the last time the two tangoed:

"We fit together perfectly. She responds to my slightest touch, and I to hers. This is truly dancing with the stars. We are completely in step. We are so in tune that night -- my sister and I -- genetically so similar, trained by the same teacher, ideal dance partners."

Holy "Flowers in the Attic"! (And we haven't even gotten to the part where he talks about wiping sweat off her breasts between acts.) And like a jilted lover, he's bent on payback.

Since 1985, Ciccone, 48, has worked for his famous sister as her personal dresser, personal assistant, stylist, interior decorator and artistic director.

Yet, he claims, among other things, that she's a cold, insecure, shy, list-making insomniac who keeps people on a short leash but far from her heart.

And she's smoked pot, done Ecstasy and made up that whole story about arriving in New York City's Time Square with $35 and a dream.

"She was a middle class girl with plenty of contacts in Manhattan," he writes. "She had money in her pocket and a support system all in place."

Ciccone, who is gay, blames Guy Ritchie's alleged homophobia as the cause of their recent rift (this book won't help any). He also mentions an uncomfortable run-in with Boston boy Mark Wahlberg at a Hollywood Hills party in 1991:

"I dance with a guy on the dance floor and Marky mutters something under his breath. (Record producer) Guy Oseary comes to my defense and starts tussling with Marky. Things look as if they are about to get ugly. (Actor) John Enos makes a move toward Marky. Marky takes one look at him and sprints out of the house."

Ciccone dishes on other celebs, too. He snorted cocaine with Jack Nicholson and Donatella Versace, did drugs with Naomi Campbell and Kate Moss and witnessed Madonna's lascivious smooch with Gwyneth Paltrow.


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