Life Begins at 40

There are now more of us in our 40s, 50s and 60s than ever before.

This should be a period to celebrate life, but many people can feel that the most exciting part of their life is over.

That’s completely wrong according to one of the UK’s best know well-being and nutrition specialists, Judith Wills.

She’s devised a plan, in her new book Mid Life New Life, to enable people in mid-life to revitalise themselves and not only look younger but feel happier.

Judith says: “Being middle-aged is no reason for depression and may even be a cause for celebration – the start of your new life.”

Yet she believes all too many of us settle for cosy familiarity, or worse, resign ourselves to what life is, rather than what it could be.

“It’s an ideal time for making changes and choices, for finding new roles to play, for getting in touch with the present and making plans for the future.”

She realises that can be challenging after so many busy years probably spent coping with a career, family, and other commitments.

“You can suddenly realise that you have no idea who YOU really are any more, because it has been so long since you had the time or energy to think about your own needs.”

So first, try this quiz to find out if you’re in a rut, and if you need to make some changes.

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ARE YOU IN A RUT?

Answer the following questions honestly, choosing the answer that most nearly matches your experience if there isn’t one that is exactly right. Calculate whether you have ticked more As, more Bs or more Cs and check your profile below.

1: How often do you buy yourself something new to wear?

a) Every month or less; b) Twice a year; c) Hardly ever.

2: How often do you look at a daily newspaper different from your regular one?

a) Once a week or less; b) Now and then; c) Never.

3: When did you last have a weekend away from home not related to work?

a) Within the last two months; b) Within the last six months; c) Rarely have weekends away.

4: When choosing your major annual holiday which of these options do you go for?

a) Go to a new country every year; b) Go to the same area but in different accommodation; c) Always go to the same resort and same accommodation.

5: How long it is since you made friends with anyone new?

a) This last year; b) two to three years; c) More than five years.

6: When did you last voluntarily do something that made you feel a bit nervous, afraid or unsure?

a) Within the last two months; b) Within the last year; c) Can’t remember.

7: How long is it since you learned a new skill (eg: hobby/ language) not related to work?

a) Within the last year; b) Within the last five years; c) Can’t remember.

SCORING

MOSTLY As: You are most certainly not in a rut – don’t lose your sense of adventure as you get older, it is what keeps people feeling young and living longer. The UK Wellbeing Survey 2002 found that it is boredom, more than stress and lack of money, that diminishes a sense of well-being as we age.

MOSTLY Bs: That rut is looking dangerously close and you have one foot in it. You are in danger of stagnating, so it is time to reinvent areas of your life and see what adventures are out there for the taking.

MOSTLY Cs: Oh dear! You fell into a rut a while ago and can’t seem to get yourself out – perhaps you don’t even think you want to. But you need to get up and dust yourself off. As they say – this is no rehearsal, this is your life.

BLUEPRINT FOR CHANGE

* Redefine your base, see what you already have and take a fresh look at it, including family, work and home.

* Make a list of all the things in your life that make you happy, that you don’t want to change.

* Make a schedule for work and home life. By organising your time more efficiently, prioritising, and delegating or off-loading tasks you don’t enjoy you’ll make more time for important things like friends and leisure.

* Make lists and plans for goals and future ambitions, but keep them realistic.

GET ORGANISED

* At the end of the day, know what you intend to do tomorrow. At the end of the week, know what you intend to do next week. This helps you relax and unwind overnight/over the weekend. Even if things don’t exactly go according to plan, at least you have a base from which to work.

WORK

Around the late 40s to mid-50s many people contemplate what may be their biggest ever decision – whether to carry on working or retire.

No longer are the options one or the other.

Consider new ways of working such as working part-time or working from home.

Take a gap year. More and more 40 plus people are doing this, and sometimes renting out their home to fund it.

Retrain – the largest percentage of students returning to education are women over 40.

SPICE UP YOUR LIFE

Depending on your health, fitness and physical ability try some of these ideas to revitalise your life.

* Join a library and read your way through the Top 100 all-time favourite books in the UK (produced by the BBC).

* Do someone else a favour – whether a sponsored walk, or shopping for an elderly person, as research shows that helping others makes us more cheerful.

* Book a course of sessions with a life coach or a personal trainer.

* Set yourself a physical challenge – run a half marathon, walk the Pennine Way, learn salsa dancing.

* Plan a home swap.

BANISH FEAR OF CHANGE

Change seems worse if you feel you have no element of control. For changes you know will happen eventually, such as children leaving home, get involved in the build-up to change rather than ignoring it. Helping youngsters sort out their new lives will make you feel part of the process not a hopeless bystander.

IT’S NOT TOO LATE

Many people feel time is not on their side, and it’s too late to make changes.

The reality is life is getting longer, and you have plenty of time to make the best use of it.

In the UK life expectancy is now 75 for men and 80 for women and has doubled in the past 130 years.

Positive thinking can add years to your life.

On average someone with a cheerful, positive outlook lives 7.5 years longer than a gloomy person.

* Mid Life New Life by Judith Wills, is published by Quadrille, priced pounds 25. Available now.