Boulder Psychologist’s Program Reignites the Flame of Relationship
BOULDER, Colo., July 31, 2012 /PRNewswire/ — The statistics for successful, long-term unions, legally sanctioned or not, look pretty grim. It is tempting to believe that people just can’t get along over the long haul or that they are doomed to grow apart.
This problem bothered Boulder psychologist Julia Colwell a lot. One afternoon, after working with yet another struggling couple, she realized that she was spending all her time diagnosing what was wrong, and that that emphasis wasn’t igniting any fires for her clients. She decided to put all her other therapeutic techniques aside and to focus on the simple act of helping each partner tell her truth to the other.
“Being in relationship should be exhilarating and life-giving,” Colwell says, “but so often we fear conflict so much, we can’t take the risk. We don’t know how to tell the truth or how to be who we are, no-holds barred. We sort of shrink down to fit the partner package. Then one day, we can’t take it another second and we find ourselves in an affair or packing the moving van, or just out the door.”
Colwell’s yearlong program, The Relationship Ride, teaches participants how to tell each other the truth and how to hear the truth. It’s not about who’s right or who’s wrong or who’s to blame. “We work to see deeply into ourselves,” says Colwell, “and share that knowledge with the person most important to us. As partners learn to speak and be heard, they begin to experience relationship as an exciting journey. Their partnership becomes the opportunity of a lifetime for growth, excitement, fulfillment, and profound love.”
The Relationship Ride will begin the weekend of September 28-October 1, 2012 at the Boulder Center for Conscious Community in Boulder, Colorado, and is open to individuals and couples, regardless of were they live.
Expect openness, friendliness, and play! “We avoid being grim,” says Colwell. “Instead of focusing on where we’ve failed, discovery is the name of the game. Discover that sweet spot where you are fully yourself and your partner is fully herself, and your relationship becomes the dynamic interaction of equals. It’s work, but it’s exhilarating.”
The Relationship Ride includes:
- Four weekend intensives (with the option of attending a fifth weekend at half-price)
- Two live tele-classes per month
- Ongoing web board interaction
- Ongoing buddy support
To learn the particulars of The Relationship Ride, including time, place, pricing, and other specifics, or to sign up, please click here: The Relationship Ride.
Colwell maintains that the biggest obstacle to a dynamic and fulfilling relationship is being nice. “It’s especially a problem in the lesbian community,” she says. “Women are trained from birth to be nice, to give in. Eventually they can find they’ve given themselves completely away for the sake of the partnership.”
Being nice can be disastrous in the long term.
Colwell illustrates her point, “When you are first together, your relationship is like a roaring fire! Then something negative happens. You say nothing. That’s like throwing a little sand on the fire. If you keep throwing sand on the fire, the flames begin to die out. The initial joys of your union fade. You find yourself smiling wanly at your partner from the other end of the couch, wondering what went wrong. The good news is, in most loving relationships, there are a lot of embers under the sand that can reignite.”
The Relationship Ride teaches participants through experience and reflection. The yearlong format gives couples the time to absorb what they have learned. By observing other couples, participants see their own situations. By watching others interact, participants begin to understand their own interactions. By watching others apply relationship skills, participants gain the courage to try them out.
“There is a constant shower of big and small miracles every day,” says Colwell. “Those are the moments when couples who have all but thrown in the towel suddenly see themselves, their partners, and their relationships in a new light and know that everything has shifted for them, that there are new possibilities open for them.”
About Julia Colwell
Julia Colwell received her doctorate in Clinical Psychology from the University of Colorado. In practice since 1991, she has been leading relationship workshops her entire career. Colwell lives in Boulder with her partner of 24 years and says, “Everything I teach and talk about is informed by my experience in this relationship. My partner and I have discovered a path to intimacy that allows for ongoing creativity, passion, and celebration. And big, big love.”
For more information about Julie, her practice, and her programs, please visit http://www.juliacolwell.com.
SOURCE Julia Colwell