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Home for the Holidays Self Regulation Strategies for Parents and Kids

Posted on: Friday, 24 December 2004, 03:01 CST

Parents, Brace yourselves! The third week of December marks the release of school children across the nation for the winter holidays. Caught up in the holiday spirit, youngsters celebrate their liberty from classes. Reinforcement of self-regulation for you and the children will help calm the overstimulation of the season- replacing tension with enjoyment throughout the break.

As a general rule, school calendars allow a substantial break between fall and spring semesters. Most school districts allow about two weeks during the holidays. Consequently, potential exists for agitation to increase and learned independent skills to decrease during this period.

A natural reaction occurs: the more self-regulation and independent skills slide, the more parents tend to pick up the slack that becomes burdensome while juggling holiday demands and expectations. Unless families use reinforcement strategies, two circumstances are likely to occur-parents become overwhelmed and children lose skills practiced in daily routines. To prevent this situation, families (in collaboration with teachers, therapists, and psychologists) can provide special environmental adaptations and therapeutic techniques at home. Acceptable behaviors and independent life skills are thereby reinforced while maintaining therapeutic and performance gains.

Due to this season's festivities, common therapeutic strategies (i.e. daily routines, high structure, organization, visual and" auditory prompts) relax in the atypical events of the holidays. Consequently, behaviors such as impulsivity, lack of initiative, memory difficulties, distractibility, disorganization, stress, and anxiety may escalate. This conduct interferes with learned regulatory behaviors and independent skills in family activities. Tensions and stress levels rise for both parents and youngsters. A review of calming and organizational strategies with school personnel or private therapists may prove beneficial through this year's holiday activities,

We know that children experiencing self-regulatory problems frequently exhibit sensory defensiveness to external stimuli. This season is particularly stressful. Sights, sounds, and smells are all unusual and often overstimulating, especially when sensory input is multiple and simultaneous. A review of self-regulatory techniques such as the sensory alert system, behavior modification, cognitive/ emotional/ social techniques, and adult modeling may certainly be welcomed by parents and caregivers before children are released for the holiday break. For example, a review of self-regulation with parents whose children are involved in the "How Does Your Engine Run" program developed by Williams and Shellenberger offers a variety of strategies that can be adapted for home and community holiday activity. Activities and projects modified within this program may include: religious community activities, local celebrations, neighborhood caroling, library holiday programs, and of course, family gatherings. If people, routines, and community establishments are kept as familiar as possible, stress-causing disruptive behavior would most likely be kept to a minimum.

Suggestions and reminders focusing on independent skills may include: lowering expectations, engaging children with special needs in simple craft projects for gifts or decorations; breaking down activities into small components, reducing the complexity of an activity and length of time it takes to complete; providing a sense of external order using picture labels on holiday decorations; developing simple, uncluttered pictures, lists, and charts, and the use of verbal prompts which may be needed for such activities as gift wrapping, cookie baking or tree trimming; the use of simple, concrete instructions and emphasis on the concept that children with memory difficulties succeed with repetition. Therapists may present creative strategies for transitions in home or community activities or suggestions of how to balance high energy activity like sleigh riding with sedentary activity like reading or computer games.

Balancing purposeful activities with holiday fun and relaxation during this season is a challenge for parents. Request support from your child's therapists and teachers by providing hints, tips and strategies that promote and reinforce independent life skills while reducing holiday stress. Backsliding will be minimized and children may actually gain new skills to bring into their class for the upcoming semester or to the clinic for the New Year!

Parent support groups from mid-November to mid-December may focus on suggestions, tips, and strategies that relieve stress caused by the break in daily routine while reinforcing positive behaviors and independent skills. Local meetings may be available on the Internet or through the school system. If a parent group is not currently meeting in school or community, this season is an opportunity for parents in the respective communities to gather together, and invite a speaker (parent, therapist, or teacher) to share ideas.

Parents and caregivers benefit from self-regulatory strategies as well. Internet sites with "Holiday Tips for Parents" are plentiful this time of year. To avoid falling into a "tension trap" during the holidays, log onto some of the numerous articles written on line suggesting parental strategies that relieve seasonal stress. Sites such as Smart Start at www.nesmartstart.org or Ann Vernon's Holiday Stress Busters at www.familyeducation.com offer valuable suggestions. Examples include participation in at least one physical activity daily, acceptance of offers from family, friends', or respite agencies to stay with the children for short durations including an overnight retreat, practice deep breathing or yoga daily, get adequate nutrition and sleep, and maintenance of a family schedule. These suggestions are a sampling of many more that promote self regulation and stress reduction benefiting the entire family.

Remember this is a vacation for all of us! Occasional down time with visions of sugarplums is therapeutic for children and parents as well.

Happy Holidays!!

Behaviors such as impulsivity, lack of initiative, memory difficulties, distractibility, disorganization, stress and anxiety may escalate.

Therapists may present creative strategies for transitions in home or community activities or suggestions of how to balance high energy activity like sleigh riding with sedentary activity like reading or computer games.

Copyright Psy-Ed Corporation Dec 2004

Source: Exceptional Parent, The

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