Rise of the Trophy Toyboy
By Esther Rantzen
YOU can tell how successful a man is by the trophies he flaunts: his shiny brand new car, a private jet, or a new wife half his age.
They are all badges of virility, telling the world that not only can he drive faster, and fly higher, but he can still catch and satisfy a hot-blooded young woman.
It’s expensive, of course, but worth it to him to pay off the first wife with a handsome dollop of alimony, and set off again with a blonde on his arm.
Traditionally, his discarded elderly wife, childhood sweetheart as she may have been, and partner through the tough years while he was building his empire, has taken the money and gone out to grass quietly.
She’s been content to grow plumper, allow her hair to turn a comfortable grey, and take up gardening or baking scones for the grandchildren.
And when she heard tales of her ex-husband gallivanting, she smiled to herself at his adolescent fantasies, and got on with real life.
But the stiletto-heeled boot is on the other foot these days.
Increasingly it’s successful women who trade in their old model for a new one and dump the cosy, elderly husband of 20 years in favour of a newer, sleeker young man.
Middle-aged women are no longer embarrassed to flirt with men less than half their age.
How the gender roles have changed.
There was a time when elderly chaps who leered at younger women were described as `dirty old men’ and accused of sexual harassment.
But now it seems quite acceptable when powerful older women do it.
Dragon lady Anne Robinson smiles coquettishly at her young male contestants on the The Weakest Link, before she eats them alive. So it was no surprise to see a handsome young man photographed on her arm this week as she strode around town parading her newly single state.
Madonna’s interior decorator may be nothing more than a social companion, but by taking him out as her escort she made the clear statement: not only can I afford the most luxurious clothes and the most expensive face-lifts, but I also have a cool, goodlooking young man to squire me.
Why? In Anne’s favourite phrase: “Because I can.”
The menopause used to be nature’s way of telling women that the clock had beaten them.
Not any more.
Whatever the risks of HRT (and many doctors say they have been exaggerated), thousands of women are still taking hormone replacements, some of which are proven aphrodisiacs.
Livial, for example, based on the male hormone testosterone, has a galvanising effect on the female libido.
The result is that she may make demands an older man can no longer supply.
And instead of fainting with hot flushes and fatigue, women on HRT become dynamos of energy, out-pacing their exhausted, elderly husbands.
He may be turning into a grumpy old man, a boring hermit who is disinclined to leave his cosy nook by the fireside or in the pub.
But she is in the mood for excitement, setting out to explore the Amazon or the local nightclub.
No wonder when she gets there she falls for the charms of the brave, young explorer, or the dashing, new salsa partner.
It’s a growing trend, it seems.
The number of successful women marrying far younger men is soaring, Gwyneth Paltrow, for example, Emma Thompson and Madonna.
It’s not because wrinkles have become alluring but that we have found ways of obliterating them.
Look at any TV makeover show and it’s clear that cosmetic surgery has revolutionised the mating game.
Choose the right surgeon and a successful woman can replace her elderly sags and bags with perky new boobs and smooth, soft skin.
And then there’s her wallet to add a little luxury to her sex appeal. In the new equality between the genders, why shouldn’t a young man enjoy the benefits of a woman’s success and allow her to pick up the tab for the week in Barbados, or the flashy new car she lets him drive?
The danger of getting entangled with a gigolo is obvious, and many a woman has woken up one morning to find an empty bank balance and a toyboy who has disappeared with it.
On the other hand, Barbara Windsor and Joan Collins have proved that a richer, older, more successful wife can still enjoy a happy marriage.
So is this the pattern for the future?
Given that women outlive men and can increasingly financially outshine them, where Anne Robinson treads, should we all follow?
Before we leap for the Botox and log on to a dating website, let’s bear in mind a different example.
We all watched with delight the celebration of another couple’s 60 years together; both white-haired, both over 80.
The Queen and Prince Philip still obviously love each other deeply and depend upon each other.
The picture of the Royal Family after their diamond wedding anniversary dinner told its own story.
A long partnership is good for children, and for grandchildren.
It’s an achievement, and one to envy and emulate.
They’ve gone off to Malta together, the place where, at the start of their marriage, they could be an “ordinary couple”.
But they’re far from ordinary.
Not because they’re rich and famous, but because they could have got bored, irritated or come to dislike each other, and they never did.
We can never know exactly how their relationship works, but from the hints she has dropped over the years, we can gather that despite the fact she is far richer than he, and her career outshines his, she still depends on his advice, honesty and humour.
It wasn’t, we’re told, an easy or an obvious choice. He was no trophy for her, a penniless prince.
She was a formidable choice for him: he knew he would always be destined to walk in her shadow.
But time has proved them right. Bowled over by a handsome officer, she found at the same time an ideal friend and partner. How lucky for them, their family and us.
(c) 2007 Malay Mail. Provided by ProQuest Information and Learning. All rights Reserved.