No More Mr Nice Guy; It Seems Men Are Just As Prone to Hormonal Mood Swings As Women Gabrielle Fagan Reports
IF YOUR man’s come home from work, screamed at you and the kids, before slumping grumpily in a chair in front of the television, don’t reach for the frying pan Instead, try to stay calm and recognise he could be suffering from a newly recognised condition, Irritable Male Syndrome.
The condition has been revealed by psychotherapist Jed Diamond who reveals the cause, symptoms and its often damaging effects in a new book, The Irritable Male Syndrome.
Jed, 61, says: ‘Men suffering from this demonstrate an ongoing pattern of outbursts of frustration, bad temper, and anxiety.
‘Some men feel impatient, dissatisfied, critical and want to withdraw into mind-numbing activities such as watching television, using a computer or perhaps becoming workaholic.’
The sceptical sisterhood may scoff and dismiss it as a typical alpha male behaviour but Jed cautions: ‘We used to laugh at and ridicule women who said that they had emotional changes associated with their hormones, but now we are realising men suffer from the same problems due to fluctuating levels of the male hormone, testosterone.’
He suggests the syndrome can mimic the symptoms of pre-menstrual syndrome suffered by women. ‘What distinguishes IMS from generalised irritability is that the behaviour pattern is an ongoing and in marked contrast to the person’s former character.
‘Outgoing, easy going men can become antisocial, suffer poor concentration, low libido and even physical symptoms like back and stomach pain.’ Jed, whose previous best-seller, Male Menopause, detailed the condition as confined to middle aged men aged 40-55, now believes that IMS actually affects a much larger proportion of men. ‘This IMS can affect those aged in their mid-twenties right through to older men right up to their 80s. Sadly, all too often it’s not diagnosed because doctors don’t currently recognise it and men cover their unhappiness by indulging in drink, drugs, excessive exercise, overwork and angry moods. They’d rather be seen as ‘bad’ than ‘sadHe estimates that around 30% of men may currently be suffering from IMS – although he expects that to rise to 70% as recognition increases.
The effect can be disastrous, resulting in broken marriages and relationships, ruined careers, depression and even suicide.
Jed believes it nearly cost him his marriage when he suffered from it aged 50. ‘I was a typical sufferer who was irritable at home, and I would alternately withdraw and then lash out. Like most men who have this I was in denial and I blamed my wife for constantly getting on my nerves.’ It was only when he accidentally came across a paper describing the syndrome written by a Scottish expert that he recognised his own symptoms.
Initiating a website questionnaire on the condition resulted in 6,000 responses, with many men – and their partners – relieved to finally found out what was wrong with them.
He says: ‘This condition is wreaking havoc, but I believe in a few years time it will be totally accepted. Hopefully recognition will mean many men can be helped and avoid the misery and unhappiness this syndrome causesp THE Irritable Male Syndrome, by Jed Diamond, is published by Rodale/Pan Macmillan, priced pounds 12.99. Available now
irritable male syndrome
WHO DOES IT AFFECT? Unlike the male menopause the symptoms of IMS are not limited to middle-aged men, it can affect young men in their 20s right through to older men.
It can often affect highly ambitious, successful men who are driven and find it hard to relax.
In general, sufferers initially deny there is anything wrong and prefer to blame other factors, such as their family or job stress.
WHAT ARE THE SYMPTOMSRegular outbursts of irritability and temper which are significantly affecting relationships at home and at work, and are out of character for the person concerned. It may particularly be characterised by out of proportion reactions or hyper-sensitivity to trivial irritations eg. almost Jekyll & Hyde personality swings.
There may also be accompanying anxiety and depression and a general feeling of dissatisfaction with life."
WHAT CAUSES IT? Dropping levels of the male hormone, testosterone which some men may be particularly prone to. Diamond believes that men go through the symptoms of IMS around every 15-20 minutes, the rate at which testosterone levels fluctuate. This can affect brain chemistry.
Those highs and lows can be affected by age and stress, and men’s struggle to find their role in a changing society.
WHAT CAN MEN DO? The first step is to recognise the condition, which can be done by completing a quiz to identify whether you or a partner are suffering the symptoms. Visit: www.theirritablemale.com Those too young to be suffering from male menopause could ask their GPs for a blood test to check for abnormally low levels of testosterone Some men may benefit from a testosterone-replacement therapy such as Testogel. It is available in the UK from some GPs or can be had privately at a cost of pounds 600 a year.
Others may benefit from dietary changes, and Diamond points out that following diet fads which severely reduce carbohydrate can deprive the brain of feel-good chemicals such as seratonin.
An exercise programme may be beneficial as excess weight can reduce testosterone levels.
Counselling and herbal remedies or specific medical treatment may be helpful to combat depression