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Relax - Self-Awareness Leads to Bliss, Author Says

Posted on: Friday, 20 May 2005, 09:00 CDT

Anyone can turn stress into bliss. Just change the first four letters.

Michael Lee offers another way, but his way takes eight weeks, whereas mine takes only two seconds. On the other hand, my way is vaguely annoying and doesn't make me feel even a smidge better about anything.

But Lee's way might.

"A lot of us are living a life where the bliss isn't there because we don't let it in," says Lee, the founder of Phoenix Rising Yoga Therapy. "What a lot of us do is sabotage ourselves in life. We can always justify why we're stressed out."

His method for trading stress for bliss involves a little yoga, a little meditation, a little journaling, a little walking and a lot of self-awareness.

His book, Turn Stress Into Bliss, guides you through mindfulness- based stress reduction, or MBSR, which has been around in an official way since 1979. That's when Dr. Jon Kabat-Zinn founded the Stress Reduction Clinic at the University of Massachusetts Medical School, which evolved into the Center for Mindfulness in Medicine, Health Care and Society (CFM).

If you're clueless about mindfulness, it's the opposite of mindlessness, which the CFM defines as "loss of awareness resulting in forgetfulness, separation from self and a sense of living mechanically."

Until I read that, I was at least blissfully unaware of my mindless existence. Tammy Vaiana of Arvada was aware that she was unaware, and she went to Phoenix Rising practitioner Jesse Lee for help.

"The big thing is finding the time and putting everything on hold. I still struggle with that," says Vaiana, 47. "We're all on that racetrack that we can't get off of."

Like many people, Vaiana denied she was stressed out and just powered through it.

"Now I'm trying to take many times throughout the day and say, 'Take a breath and realize this moment.' It's made me aware that my jaw's clenched, that I'm feeling nervous," Vaiana says. "Just the acknowledgment makes me relax a little. The idea of being aware of it has been good for me."

She's discovering her mindfulness, which the Center for Mindfulness' literature says is a "way of learning to relate directly to whatever is happening in your life, a way of taking charge of your life, a way of doing something for yourself that no one else can do for you - consciously and systematically working with your own stress, pain, illness and the challenges and demands of everyday life."

Okey-dokey.

There's research behind this. West Virginia University put 103 adults through a stress-reduction program that taught them to apply "mindfulness meditation" to daily life. After the eight-week program, 24 percent found it easier to deal with daily hassles, 44 percent experienced less psychological distress and 46 percent had fewer medical symptoms.

Lee's program, which takes up to 40 minutes a day, grew out of work done at his Phoenix Rising Yoga Therapy center with a group of 10 people who suffered from irritable bowel syndrome. At the end of the eight-week program - without once mentioning the disease, much less treating it directly - the group reported an overall 55 percent reduction in their IBS symptoms.

It's all about developing what Lee calls the "inner muscle" that we need to handle stress.

"If we don't really pay attention and notice and be careful and selective about what we focus our energy on, it overwhelms us," he says. "Awareness is the key to building inner muscle. Be aware, and be selective."

In other words, pay attention.

The theme for the first week is being buddies with your body.

If you hate your body, acknowledge that and decide how you want to change that relationship, Lee says. Start by forgiving your body for all its trespasses (e.g., thunder thighs, bubble butt, hairy ears, webbed toes) and show it some love. His suggestions: a massage, a bubble bath, a leisurely walk, a swim or a fun and physical game with friends or kids.

Conspicuously absent from his list: a workout in the gym. Many people don't like exercise, so it's not a good way to make nice to your body, Lee says.

"If you're someone who can go to the gym and work out and really enjoy it and feel good during the session from start to finish, then it qualifies as a befriending-your-body exercise," he says.

A typical day from the first week looks like this: Self-presence exercise and intention setting - 5 minutes. Yoga practice sequence - 20 minutes. Meditation and integration - 5 minutes. Drink eight glasses of water during the day; perform one small act to support your intention; and schedule a bubble bath for later in the week.

The meditation piece scares some people, but don't sweat it. "A lot of people make meditation a whole lot harder than it is. There's a whole lot of clutter around something very simple."

If you have performance anxiety about meditation, just "be present" to that, Lee says. "Notice that worry about whether you're doing it right. Just be with whatever is."

There is no wrong way to do this kind of meditation, and no ideal state to achieve. Being mindful is something everyone can do, but it's a different experience depending on what's going on in your life, Lee says.

Vaiana is ready for it - wherever it takes her.

"I'm just trying to get a better grasp of where my life is and where my life's going," she says, "and really appreciate it."

INFOBOX 1

Child

* How to: Lie facedown on the floor. Slowly draw your knees up under your body. Sit on your heels. Place your head on the floor in front of your knees and your arms along your thighs, hands toward your feet. Breathe deeply. Observe, be aware and accept.

* Variation: If you have trouble sitting back on your heels, place a rolled-up blanket or small pillow between your heels and hips.

Half-seated forward bend

* How to: Sit on the floor with your legs stretched out in front of you. Keep your right leg straight while you bend your left leg at the knee. Place your left foot on the outside of your right knee.

Hug your left knee while you straighten and lengthen your back. Exhale as you slowly bend forward, keeping your back straight. Take at least three deep exhaling breaths as you find your edge - the place where you're bending neither too little nor too far. Take three more breaths as you hold that position.

Slowly release and straighten out your legs. Put your hands on the floor behind you and lean back for a few seconds, letting go and breathing deeply and easily.

Repeat on the other side.

Half facedown boat

* How to: Rest either your chin or forehead on the mat. Extend your arms on the floor over your head. Focus totally on your left side: Begin to lengthen it by stretching your left arm and leg away from the center of your body. Now lift your left arm and leg a few inches off the ground. Remember to breathe throughout the exercise. Lift your limbs as high as you can easily sustain for three or four breaths. Repeat on right side.

INFOBOX 2

A simple bliss test

Ever wonder what your BQ is? (That's short for "Bliss Quotient.") If you've never heard of a BQ and have serious doubts it exists, Michael Lee, founder of Phoenix Rising Yoga Therapy, suggests you take this "Simple Bliss Test." Lee says this is a guide to help you gauge the overall extent of stress and bliss in your life.

Rate each item on a scale of zero to 10: A zero means "does not describe me at all," a 5 would be "sometimes describes me" and a 10 means "always describes me."

* 1. I am a happy person.

* 2. I have a clear purpose in my life that I'm pleased about.

* 3. I am achieving what I want in my life.

* 4. The stress in my life is moderate and manageable.

* 5. I am patient and calm in times of struggle.

* 6. I take good care of my physical and emotional health.

* 7. My life is exciting and challenging.

* 8. I get pleasure regularly from helping others.

* 9. There are people in my life who love me and with whom I enjoy spending time.

* 10. My work is meaningful to me and serves others.

Figure your score out of a possible total of 100. If you scored 0- 30, you're probably experiencing one or more symptoms of stress. A score of 31-60 indicates you could probably use more bliss in your life, but might not notice any symptoms of stress. If you scored 61- 100, congratulations!

INFOBOX 3

To learn more

* For more information about stress reduction using Phoenix Rising Yoga Therapy, call Jesse Lee in Longmont at 720-652-6556 or go to www.TotalBodyAndSoul.com.

* To order Michael Lee's book or find other Phoenix Rising practitioners in Colorado, go to www.pryt.com.

* To learn more about the Stress Reduction Program or the Center for Mindfulness at the University of Massachusetts Medical School, go to http://www.umass med.edu/cfm/.

INFOBOX 4

Source: Rocky Mountain News

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