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Holiday Homecoming Only Gift Family Needs: Father Graduates From Alcohol-Treatment Center

Posted on: Thursday, 22 December 2005, 12:00 CST

By Rebecca Vandermeulen, Reading Eagle, Pa., Reading Eagle, Pa.

Dec. 22--When they gather for Christmas, Kim and her three daughters won't need presents under the tree. They'll just be glad to have their husband and father, Kevin, home and their family reunited. Kevin is back with his family in southern Connecticut after spending a year in Philadelphia and Berks County battling his addiction to alcohol. "It's a beautiful thing (to be home)," said Kevin, 43, who did not want his last name published. "It's kind of like a Christmas present for me and them." The family plans to sing carols to neighbors and shut-ins and spend the weekend with relatives. "We definitely appreciate everything more," Kim said. "There's more joy. There's more desire to share that joy with other people." Kevin and 17 others graduated Friday from the Teen Challenge Training Center, a Christian drugand alcohol-treatment facility in Rehrersburg, Tulpehocken Township. The Berks County facility is among 280 Teen Challenge centers in the world. The organization has centers to counsel teens, men and women. About 300 men go through the Rehrersburg facility each year. "It's amazing to me to see the men who come in," said Bernadine L. Wright, assistant public relations director. "They can have it all going for them and they get hooked on something and it ruins their life." A set of clients graduates each month, typically on the last Friday of the month. But ceremonies in November and December are held earlier so clients can return to their families for Thanksgiving and Christmas, said the Rev. Richard L. Weitzel, vice president of operations at the Rehrersburg facility. At the December graduation, Kevin, a former church deacon, and the others clapped and gave each other high-fives as they sang to Christian music. "Look what the Lord has done," they sang. "He healed my body. He touched my mind." Kim, who came from Connecticut for the graduation, cried while watching Kevin perform a solo. "Healing rain is falling down," he sang. "I'm not afraid.""It's amazing," said Kim, 40. "I'm going to cry all night." Kevin blew a kiss to Kim as he returned to his seat. Both of their faces glowed. Falling into addiction Before the ceremony, Kevin talked about how he ended up at Teen Challenge. He had struggled with depression since he was young. "I found a way out through alcohol," he said. Eventually, drinking took over his life, even though he usually didn't drink a lot at one time. "I would justify it in my mind as, 'I won't drink enough to be destructive,' " Kevin said. "I never did get a DUI, and that's the mercy of God, not because I was being responsible about my addiction." Kevin was a deacon at an Assembly of God Church in central Massachusetts until 2001, when he resigned for fear that the church would be embarrassed if he were caught driving under the influence. He soon became even more depressed when he lost a job as a computer network administrator.

"Losing a job certainly didn't help," Kevin said. "I had time and a little bit of money on my hands." He and Kim, his wife of 15 years, wanted to start fresh, so they moved close to her parents in Connecticut. Kevin could hold only a string of part-time jobs. The couple fought often. Sometimes, it got so bad that Kim thought about divorce. And Kevin kept drinking.

At least once he slept in a rest area along the highway after a night of drinking, unsure if he could make it home. In 2004, Kevin tried a pair of monthlong treatment programs, but the secular foundation of those programs didn't appeal to him. One night, his rebellious streak nearly killed him. "I just got upset with it (the rehab program) and snuck out and partied hard," Kevin said. A diabetic, Kevin said his blood sugar was low that night and he passed out. Someone found him and called an ambulance. "I was lying on the side of the road," he said. "I woke up to red lights, all blurry." Kevin had heard about Teen Challenge through his church, and in January he left his family for a year of treatment. He started at a center in Philadelphia before moving to the Rehrersburg site for an eight-month stay. Dealing with separation The family communicated through letters and two 10-minute phone calls each week. Kim visited the Berks County facility once a month, and Kevin got to go home for four days in autumn. Teen Challenge worked well for Kevin. He sang with a choir that performed around Pennsylvania, taught other students how to use computers and thought about what led him to drink. The most important thing he learned, he said, was that he needed help from God in his life. "God's promises are not just knowledge in a book, but they apply to me personally," Kevin said. Meanwhile, Kim had to take care of the couple's three daughters: Kelly, 12; Megan, 8; and Michaela, 5. Sheavoynne, Kevin's 20-year-old daughter from a previous relationship, does not live with the couple. Kim considers it a miracle that the family was able to stay afloat. She did whatever she could to sustain the family -- cleaning houses, running errands for other people or working as a home health-care aide. She got financial help from people she knew and sometimes from anonymous donors. "I would get extra work just when I needed to pay a bill," she said. "I'd get money. I've had groceries dropped off on my doorstep." Tough road ahead Kim and the girls learned to cope with Kevin away, and they realize his return will bring new challenges. "We've been without him for a year, and the dynamics of the family are going to change," Kim said. "I am not expecting him to come home and everything's going to be hunky-dory." Kevin and Kim will have to keep an eye out for the things that used to lead him to alcohol. "Just the stresses of life -- money, children," Kim said. Weitzel said many families have a hard time when a Teen Challenge graduate returns home. "You used to go out for hours on end," he said. "Now you say, 'I'm going to go out and pick up a newspaper,' and you're not back in 10 minutes. Your wife's going to be wondering." Kevin and Kim plan to give their full effort to make things work. They will pray together each day. Kim will manage the money. "It's not safe for an addict to have cash in his pocket," Kevin said. Kevin, who is used to Teen Challenge's rigid schedule, hopes to find a job and stay busy by helping out at church. Having idle time would make it easier to drink. Right now, he has other things to think about, such as reconnecting with his daughters while they are on their holiday break. Given the yearlong separation, Kim said it's appropriate that Kevin is home so close to Christmas and the new year. "I just let my husband go, knowing he was in God's control," she said of Kevin's time at Teen Challenge. "I really feel like our family is getting a new beginning, and our marriage." Contact reporter Rebecca VanderMeulen at 610-371-5015 or rvandermeulen@readingeagle.com.

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Copyright (c) 2005, Reading Eagle, Pa.

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Source: Reading Eagle

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