Mum’s Not the Word for Skinny; Vital Lives Relationships

By Rosemarie Lynass Person-Centred Counsellor

IT must have been comforting for all those new mums reading the Record last week to see pictures of Katie Holmes wearing "Bridget Jones pants" under a glamorous gown for a night out.

Although Katie seems to have regained her figure in remarkable time, at least she has to take some of the measures that we "normal" women have to endure to fit into our party frocks after having a baby.

Of course, the chances of most of us having the opportunity to wear such a glamorous gown are slim, and we are much more likely to be concerned about getting back into our favourite jeans.

The pressure for women to lose those extra pregnancy pounds is enormous these days.

Ever since it became fashionable for celebrities to have babies, we have been bombarded with pictures of "yummy mummies" in bikinis a couple of weeks after giving birth, and the message is clear – "Didn’t she do well". It’s hard not to feel inadequate ifyou’re still carrying a bit of extra weight and this can add to the many other pressures that new mums face.

The first few months after your baby is born can be a bit of an emotional roller-coaster.

Emotions can range from intense love and happiness to fear and loneliness. You might feel unsure of yourself and the sense of responsibility that a baby brings can be quite overwhelming.

You will have to deal with the impact that parenthood has on your relationship. Your social life is unlikely to be the same and your routine will change beyond recognition.

On top of all this, you are likely to be exhausted between sleepless nights, breast-feeding, visits from friends and family and general running around that having a new baby involves.

Your focus should be on taking care of and bonding with your baby, and looking after your own physical and emotional needs at this time, not on being a size 10 before the christening. Your body will naturally take time to re-adjust after pregnancy.

It won’t just spring back into shape overnight. It’s important to remember this and realise the image of the super-skinny post- pregnancy celebrity is not the norm.

Trying to achieve this kind of dramatic weight loss is likely to compromise your health.

It is far more important that you eat healthily so that you have the energy to deal with the demands of being a new mum. If you want advice about getting back into shape after having your baby, you should talk to your midwife or health visitor ratherthan buying one of the many celebrity books or DVDs that are on the market.

Your baby’s first weeks are precious and you should allow yourself to make the most of this experience without worrying about being perfect.

If you try to reach the unattainable standard of the perfectly polished superstar mum, you are only going to end up feeling like a failure.

Your self-esteem is likely to be fragile anyway so it won’t help if you try to achieve the unachievable.

Instead you should be realistic about your weight and realise you don’t have to be stick-thin to be attractive. Research shows men are attracted to curvy women.

Only last week a men’s mag poled Fern Britton as the woman that most of their readers secretly fancied. It’s just a shame few women celebrate their curves in the way that Fern does.

So if you have to wear "magic knickers" to fit into your party frock for a while after you have your baby, relax. If a top celebrity such as Katie Holmes can get away with it, surely you can give yourself a break.

Enjoy these precious months with your baby and give yourself time to get back into shape. If your favourite jeans don’t fit yet, don’t despair.

Why not treat yourself to a nice pair in a bigger size for now.

‘Your baby’s first weeks are precious and you should make the most of this without worrying about being perfect’

(c) 2007 Daily Record; Glasgow (UK). Provided by ProQuest Information and Learning. All rights Reserved.