Her 1st Boyfriend Stirs Up Emotions

My daughter has a boyfriend.

I know this not because she announced, “Mom, I like a cute guy and he likes me, too!” As if.

I know this because a) I suspected it when I spied the classmates flirting with one another before they noticed my car pull up and, b) because the mother of one of Erin’s good friends eavesdropped on back-seat girl chat and filled me in.

I’m charmed by this high school romance — a sweet little stepping stone to bigger and more substantial relationships. Thankfully, the lovebirds are two years away from driving. Their “dates” consist of holding hands as they walk from math to science and, after hours, text messaging.

Of course, once my intuition was confirmed, I couldn’t refrain from nudging Erin — who winced with the expected degree of mortification. “Mo-om, now you’re going to bug me about this every day!” she lamented. That’s my job.

Innocent though this introductory alliance may be, it does make a parent realize: She’s growing up.

For so many and such obvious reasons, I hope my children remain abstinent until adulthood — beyond adulthood, if 18 defines it. But, realistically, they probably won’t marry the first person they ever sleep with — and even if they do, there are no guarantees that person will be equally chaste.

So here we all are, the parents of teen daughters, suddenly facing yet another child-rearing decision — to vaccinate or not to vaccinate?

The debate over vaccinating against HPV has spread like a virus in recent months. More than a dozen states are considering mandatory inoculation against HPV — the sexually transmitted human papillomavirus that raises the risk of developing cervical cancer.

Some opponents claim the vaccine sends a message to youngsters that promiscuity is OK. A friend admits she’s tempted to rally around forced vaccinations just to defy that head-in-the-sand philosophy.

Still, I’m on their side, to a point. When politicians line up to endorse a product — which, ultimately, a vaccine is — you have to wonder who’s writing them checks.

I realize this vaccination could be an enormous health benefit for society and, so far, appears to be free of side effects. But should we, by law, render an entire generation of girls guinea pigs?

It would be one thing if HPV were an airborne disease like measles, or if it spawned precancerous cells not so effectively arrested by routine (emphasis on routine) checkups.

I still second-guess myself over going along with the hot new vaccination of the ’90s — for chickenpox. Was that really necessary? Or would earning immunity the old-fashioned way — with, hopefully and usually, a mild case — have been the better route?

Whatever, the HPV vaccination is an issue that should be weighed by parents and doctors, not by legislators.

Do I want Erin immunized? Maybe not.

Then again, she didn’t volunteer to me that she has a boyfriend. The future holds many more milestones, emotions and adventures she won’t volunteer.

Elders often say they wouldn’t relive adolescence. At least when it was ours, we knew what we were up to.

Susan Christian Goulding’s column appears Thursdays. She is an award-winning writer and freelance journalist. She can be contacted by e-mail at susangoulding@aol.com.

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