Teenage Boys Get a Bum Rap About Sex ; Most Can Be Trusted With Girls
By JEREMY FEIGENBAUM, BERGEN COUNTY ACADEMIES
Editor’s note: We asked two students, one girl and one boy, to write on the topic of whether there are different expectations of high school students depending on their gender. This week, a male view; next week, a female view.
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It seems to me that no one trusts teenage boys. Although there may be plenty of teenage boys who deserve reputations as troublemakers, why should anyone attribute that negative quality to the demographic as a whole? As a teenage male, I have paid special attention to the countless times my father not only worried more about my teenage sister’s safety, but also the times he specifically ensured that she take precautions around teenagers of the opposite sex.
Many fathers I have met are guilty of this same crime: trying to protect their daughters from teenage boys. Although they have the best intentions, fathers (even those with responsible teenage sons) reinforce the notion of males as being less trustworthy, as people to be watched closely. Without realizing it, they promote harmful stereotypes.
But this is not only a family issue. One Health and Family Living class in particular demonstrated the harmful effects these negative assumptions about teenage guys can truly have. For one of our quizzes, students were asked to discuss options for couples in a variety of situations.
In one, a male was pressuring his girlfriend to have sex with him. However, no such situation existed for this assignment in which the girl pressured her boyfriend.
Even in a classroom setting, the expectation of males as aggressive and, in some settings, dangerous, is pervasive.
The Lifetime original movie “She’s Too Young,” which I watched in that same health class, tells the story of a group of high school girls pressured to have sex in order to become more popular in their school. Although meant to warn parents and students of the dangers of teen sex, the movie shows males to be the propagators of the sexual culture.
In a movie supported in the health curriculum, males persuade women to have sex with them, and repeatedly show carefree attitudes toward frequently switching sexual partners.
This type of attitude is absurd! Teenage guys are clearly much better than such stereotypes give them credit for. There are plenty of us who have more on our minds than changing girlfriends and having sex. When I talk with my friends, we talk about plenty of things; our lives do not revolve around sex, as the stereotype seems to imply.
As difficult as this may sound, my message to every adult is that you can trust us, and that is all we really ask from you.
When a negative stereotype against teenage males is so accepted that it can infest a high school sexual education curriculum, something needs to change. And that something is the stereotype itself.
The moment boys enter high school, we don’t automatically become untrustworthy troublemakers.
When your daughters and sons go on a date, you should give them the same speech: If you tell your daughter that she needs to be careful, tell that to your son, too, because just as there are responsible girls, so too are there good guys.
And please don’t ever forget that the responsible teenage boy is out there somewhere, because if you can remember and accept that, health classes will no longer teach high school students false and harmful stereotypes.
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