Boys Can Be a Royal Pain, but They Have Redeeming Qualities

By ELANA ALTMAN, BERGEN COUNTY ACADEMIES

Editor’s note: We asked two students, a girl and a boy, to write on whether there are different expectations of high school students depending on their gender. This week, a female view; last week’s column had a male view.

“Boys are stupid, throw rocks at them!” is the title of a humor book that seems to ring true to the ears of many high school girls.

Whenever my girlfriends and I pass by the book in Barnes & Noble, we can’t help but pick it up, flip through it and let out laughter of recognition. Throwing rocks at boys sometimes seems like a real solution to our problems.

Yes, we are 17 and 18 years old, and yes, this sounds very elementary/middle schoolish. We should be far past the point of boys having cooties. The trouble is, however, that boys mature slower than girls emotionally and socially. This isn’t something up for debate; it’s a fact.

Now, I know I cannot blame boys for the workings of biology, but it can get frustrating when they are making disturbing dead baby, racist or sex-related jokes and laughing hysterically, not understanding why girls cannot always do the same. I’ll spare you the details of any of their jokes (I’m not sure if they would be appropriate for a newspaper, anyway), but I’m sure you get the idea. It’s times like these that girls can only hope college boys will be much more mature.

Of course, high school girls aren’t flawless, either. Even though we are more socially and emotionally mature, we come with the whole cattiness, back-stabbing, rumor-spreading sort of thing.

I know I wrote a column earlier saying that girlish cliques are not bad or mean, and I’ll stick by it, but just because cliques as a whole are not mean or exclusive does not mean that girls as individuals are not mean, back-stabbing and manipulative.

When things like this happen, it seems as if the title of the book could be changed to “Girls are stupid, throw rocks at them” and seem just as true. Or, since I am a girl and thus more likely to use girly tactics, “Girls are stupid, spread rumors about them.”

Boys are usually more straight-up and honest. If they don’t like you, they just won’t be friends with you; they won’t pretend to be your friend and then start whispering about you the second you leave their presence. This also means that if your hair looks bad or you look fat in a dress, a guy is much more likely to tell you, while a girl is more likely to lie to keep you happy.

So, yes, sometimes I’d like to throw rocks at boys, but sometimes they are the best friends a girl could have. They can give us honest opinions, insider guy advice and fun with much less drama.

And yes, sometimes I’d like to spread rumors about girls, but I could not live without having my girlfriends’ emotional maturity and compassion when I’m upset or their shopping and gossiping habits when I just need some lighthearted fun in my life.

I encourage parents to make sure their sons or daughters have friends of both sexes in their lives; a mixed group of friends creates a much more balanced and sane environment for everyone.

Parents, students and all other readers: Have a subject you’d like to see addressed in “Listen Up”? Send us an e-mail: listenup@northjersey.com. Students, want to let the world know what’s going on in your school? The Record is looking for teen bloggers. If you are interested, e-mail dng@northjersey.com.

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