No Sex Please … We’re Over 50 ; WI MEMBERS SNUB TALK ABOUT THEIR LOVE LIVES
By FIONNUALA BOURKE
IT is a subject not normally associated with the Women’s Institute.
But last week Dr Miriam Stoppard spoke to Midland members about how to enjoy an active sex life in their elder years.
The former TV presenter and academic is behind a new survey which found that over 50s are more keen than ever to talk about their love lives.
And the research found the older generation feels more liberated and has less hang-ups than younger counterparts.
Yet when Dr Stoppard, 70, visited Worcestershire Women’s Institute to discuss the survey’s findings, only 30 of its 4,000 members turned up.
The grandmother-of-11 stopped off in the Midlands as part of a national tour of WI groups to offer advice on ‘how to keep your love life alive and how to improve it’.
But although Dr Stoppard is targeting women’s organisations with her study, she is especially concerned about the sex lives of older men suffering from Erectile Dysfunction.
The condition, more commonly known as impotence, affects nearly half a million men in the Midlands.
As well as causing them concerns in their love lives, it may be the first sign of further underlying illnesses such as heart disease, diabetes and high blood pressure.
Agony aunt Dr Stoppard, who is also a prolific health author, said it is the first time such a study has been done since Viagra and other drugs became available to treat the condition.
She believes that it is up to the woman of the house to encourage her man to discuss his problems and get medical help.
And that is why she is targeting women’s organisations with her findings.
The petite septuagenarian was stylishly dressed in black, grey and white when she arrived at Areley Kings Village Hall, in Stourport-on-Severn, for the talk last week.
Her make-up was immaculate, her skin flawless and her hair appeared to bounce with elegance.
She looked a little bit like Joan Collins – or maybe an older Sharon Osborne.
The WI members gave her a warm welcome. But one audience member noted that the turnout was very low and questioned whether others had stayed away because they were too shy to talk about sex.
Dr Stoppard swiftly got down to business to discuss the sexual difficulties that men may encounter when they get older – and how their partners can help them overcome the problems.
“It has always been the women’s job to monitor the family’s health,” she said. “This doesn’t stop when the children have grown up, you know.
“One way to do this is to check that her husband is not suffering from serious underlying illness, which may first appear as sexual difficulties. If a man suffers from Erectile Dysfunction, then his wife should encourage him to see his doctor so he can be checked out, especially his heart and arteries.
“The condition could be the first sign that he is suffering from heart disease, diabetes or high blood pressure. But he may be too embarrassed to talk about it.
“Research has shown that only one third of women experience a decline in their sexual responses and feelings as they get older.
“And 80 per cent of older people are still sexually active, having sex at least once a week. One third have sex at least two or three times a week
“But the research also shows that if you don’t have sex for a month, you probably won’t have it again for the rest of the year.
“You have to keep it going.
You’ve got to use it or lose it.”
Dr Stoppard entertained her audience with anecdotes about older people’s sex lives.
“A newly-wed husband laid down lots of rules to his new wife,” she recounted.
“He told her he would be out drinking after work with his friends most nights, wanted to watch lots of football on the TV and would expect his tea on the table when he got in.
“His wife informed him this was fine.
“In return, her only rule would be that there would be sex in their bedroom every Friday night at 7pm – whether he was there or not.”
She also used basic biological reasoning to explain to her audience why a woman’s sexual desire does not wane after the menopause.
Worcestershire WI Chairman Chris Marriott said the event had been a great success.
“It was a very interesting talk,” she said.
“She covered a lot of general health issues as well as talking about sex, and answered lots of questions the ladies put to her.
“They were all delighted they had attended.”
Dr Stoppard informed the ladies about a website which offers advice for men suffering from Erectile Dysfunction. For more information log on to www.lovelifematters.co.uk
fionnualabourke@mrn.co.uk
(c) 2007 Sunday Mercury; Birmingham (UK). Provided by ProQuest Information and Learning. All rights Reserved.