Don’t call me mademoiselle, French women say

By Kerstin Gehmlich

PARIS (Reuters) – “Bonjour mademoiselle!” — is that a
sexist insult? A classic pick-up line? Or just a friendly
greeting for millions of French women every day?

Whatever it is, it could become a thing of the past.

A group of French feminists wants to get rid of the word
“mademoiselle,” or “miss,” saying the term turns a female into
an inferior being defined by her marital status.

“When you get letters, the postman or anyone passing by
your mailbox can see whether you are married or not. It’s
nobody’s business,” said Mathilde, an unmarried 40-year old,
who has launched a petition for the government to abolish the
term.

Mathilde, who runs a small consulting firm and wants to
stay anonymous because she fear reprisals from critical
clients, said that “mademoiselle” turned women into a sex
objects clearly marked as unmarried and thus available.

“The term mademoiselle puts a diminutive view on our girls,
it turns them into incomplete ‘little things’, never really
autonomous, who will not become real adults unless they find a
husband or become mothers,” says her petition, which has been
signed by some 4,200 people.

Mademoiselle derives from the medieval term damoiselle —
depicting a young girl of nobility. The equivalent male term
‘damoisel’ has disappeared from the language.

Feminists say a term distinguishing an unmarried woman is
outdated in a country where almost 50 percent of children were
born to unmarried parents in 2005.

Mathilde said she decided enough was enough when a lawyer
told her to sign a contract for a flat as “mademoiselle.”

“I didn’t want to continue to have this label of a minor,”
the energetic woman said in her small Paris office.

Her petition — which has gained much media attention in
France and is supported by some feminist groups — calls on
authorities to force firms to scrap the term in all
administrative or contractual documents. Mathilde aims to hand
it over to the government before the summer.

Although French law is clear on the fact that the term
cannot be imposed, practice is different. Women have to decide
whether they are “mademoiselle” or “madame” at banks, insurance
firms or when buying train tickets.

“IT MAKES ME FEEL YOUNG”

The feminists’ anger is even bigger because equivalent
words have been scrapped or replaced elsewhere.

In English-speaking countries, the terms “Miss” or “Mrs”
for unmarried and married women have given way to the neutral
“Ms.” In Germany, calling a young woman “Fraeulein” is almost
considered an insult and the term “Frau” has become the rule.

In France, where politics is still a very male-dominated
game, men politicians speak of their female colleagues in terms
lawmen in other countries would no longer dare utter in public.

The news that Socialist regional leader Segolene Royal
might run for president next year prompted open scorn. One man
asked who would look after her four children. Another reminded
Royal the election was “no beauty contest.”

“The criticism is focused on the woman not having a brain,”
Mathilde complained. “People always talk about her body and the
way she dresses. All that is very misogynous.”

Not all Parisian women agreed with Mathilde’s plans.

“I like being called ‘mademoiselle’. It’s charming and it
makes me feel young,” said Laurene Lasne, 23. Unmarried Ayline
Onger said being called “madame” made her feel like her mother.

“But when I talk to single mums, I call them ‘madame’,”
said Onger, a 25-year old social worker. “I don’t want to rub
in the fact that they are on their own.”