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Man Says He Gave Wife Toilet Seat As Gift

Posted on: Tuesday, 23 December 2003, 06:00 CST

Gary and Karri Clark haven't forgotten their second Christmas together. He knew she wanted bathroom accessories, so he wrapped up a couple of gifts and waited.

The toilet seat and towel rack didn't go over too well.

"Here I thought I was doing good," he recalled with a laugh. "It was something she can always use, day after day. It's the gift that keeps on giving."

The Clarks were among those who responded to requests by the Daily Times-Call newspaper to share their stories about bungled gifts and best intentions - the waffle makers, blenders and vacuum cleaners given with love and practicality in mind that will never be forgotten or forgiven.

Karri Clark admits she wanted a new toilet seat a decade ago because there was a crack in the old one. She just didn't think she'd get one gift wrapped.

"I could not believe it," she said. "What man gives you a toilet seat for Christmas? A fricking toilet seat, and it wasn't even that expensive."

Stan Stanley said he learned his lesson about practical gifts in the early 1980s after presenting his wife with a garage door opener one Christmas. There was no entrance from the garage into the house, a source of irritation for Connie Stanley.

"I was so excited about opening it. I had no idea what it was," she said. After 57 years of marriage, she said, she has to forgive Stan when he makes a mistake like that.

Tom Tinkle remembers giving his wife a birthday blender and how she did a wonderful job of oohing and aahing before setting the box aside. When she finally took the blender out of the box, she discovered a sapphire bracelet slipped inside.

"It was a surprise for her and possibly made her rethink her opinions of her doofus husband giving her a bonehead blender for a gift," Tinkle said.

Gary Clark admits his bathroom gifts were out of desperation: It was Christmas Eve, he was at Kmart and he couldn't think of what to buy his wife.

"She wanted it, but not for Christmas," he said. Since then, he's done better: His wife received a Ford Explorer for her birthday this year.

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