Beach Bash Ideally, Myrtle Beach Needs Help SAND, SUN and Strippers

THE FINE PEOPLE of Virginia Beach are far too dignified to stoop to the sort of trash-talk now emanating from their jealous rivals in South Carolina. Luckily, that’s not a problem for us.

In a remarkable admission that it has neither perspective nor grace, Myrtle Beach has begun marketing itself as “The Ideal Alternative to Virginia Beach Vacations.” Aside from the grammatical nightmare that is that sentence, it’s also patently untrue. The ideal alternative to a Virginia Beach vacation is to live here.

To be blunt, Myrtle Beach – with its miles of strip joints and acres of bad food – appeals only to golfers, lechers and other social misfits. Sure, it has the same tawdry t-shirt joints, and the same sun-burned tourists eating too much Dairy Queen.

But as a destination, Myrtle has no business aspiring to become an alternative to Virginia Beach. It should instead work harder to become an alternative to its woebegone self.

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