Lightning Does Strike Twice

By David Lavoie

THIS is the true story of Larry and Kyle’s excellent misadventure. One of them, Larry, is a personal friend of mine and both men are Malaysians.

That sounds unlikely, I know; let’s just say that names have been changed to protect their egos.

Larry, a businessman, and Kyle, a lawyer, share a passion for deep-sea fishing. Each year, at the end of the monsoon season, they sail to Pulau Tioman where they catch red snapper, grouper, mackerel and rocket squid.

The story of their latest sea odyssey is a perfect example of a maxim propounded some years ago by a cynical American entrepreneur of Irish descent. Murphy’s Law, now enshrined in the annals of professional planning, maintains that “If anything can go wrong, it will”.

Larry and Kyle have enjoyed their annual jaunts for days of fishing and evenings of frolic so much that Kyle recently became co- owner of a sleek custom-made vessel built to specifications in Johor Baru and powered by twin 150-horsepower Yamaha engines. It’s a beauty. Kyle says it’s named Sheila because it reminds him of his ex- girlfriend. Hmm.

Sheila’s co-owner, also a Malaysian, uses the boat to do some professional fishing when it is not reserved by Kyle and his friends for their escapades. The co-owner (let’s call him “Skipper”) has a helper on the boat (let’s call him “Gilligan”).

A few weeks ago, the four Malaysians and five expatriate friends left Kuala Rompin for a few days of fishing and fun.

By 8am, they were ploughing through very rough seas heading towards Pulau Tioman. Along the way they caught bait fish and, closer to the island, a number of snappers and groupers.

By late afternoon, the first problem occurred. Their hotel on Tioman had cancelled their reservations for some reason, so they re- routed to Pulau Mukut, where they discovered that they could not moor at the jetty.

They quickly offloaded some of their catch and personal possessions, but left all the fishing tackle aboard. Then Skipper and Gilligan took the boat some 150m offshore, where they moored in about 20m of water.

Remember Murphy’s Law?

Seagoing boats of a certain size all have a draining valve in the stern called a “seacock”. This valve, left open when the boat is speeding along, allows any water splashing into the boat in rough seas to be vented. When the boat comes to rest, the seacock is closed to prevent any water from flowing the other way.

Guess what Skipper and Gilligan forgot to do?

Having dropped anchor, these two doughty mariners realised that they were now well offshore with no small boat to get back. Undaunted, they paddled in on surfboards to join the rest of the group in consuming the day’s catch and a few pints of brew.

It began to rain heavily and the sea became very choppy. The tide was coming in and the anchor chain was too short. The seacock was open and so the boat began to flood.

Our friends were sleeping snug as bugs in a rug in their hotel.

The next morning, Larry and Kyle were greeted with a calamitous sight. The combination of rough seas, open seacock and short anchor chain had caused the new boat to capsize while they slept. Disaster!

The nine of them, along with a number of villagers, finally got the flipped boat closer to the jetty. One of the expatriates offered to scuba dive to retrieve their fishing gear but, unfortunately, scuba gear is in short supply on Pulau Mukut. The expatriates, their fishing trip now in ruins, went home.

The day passed with various locals all crowding the jetty and offering differing opinions on how best to right the boat. One older fellow was quite obstreperous. When someone, incensed at his know- it-all attitude, suggested that he might take charge of righting the boat he retorted: “Not me. I’m retired!”

The following morning, 10 of the villagers along with Larry, Kyle, Skipper and Gilligan towed the upside-down boat to a nearby island where the water was calmer.

There, with the help of another half-dozen stout-hearted men, they managed to right the boat. The Mukut islanders went home RM800 happier.

Our four Malaysian heroes, bailing furiously but eager to begin their long-delayed fishing trip, hoisted anchor and headed slowly into the still choppy seas.

Let me see. Did we forget anything? Oops, the open seacock!

More water gushed in, the boat breached in the rough seas and quickly capsized again. Are we having fun yet?

Fortunately, they were only about 100m offshore and all had life jackets so they made it back to safety.

No one wanted to fetch the Mukut islanders back, but it turned out that there were four professional fishermen available locally who were prepared to save the day (for another RM800, of course).

Within 45 minutes, these four pros had the boat upright a second time.

Of course, the Yamahas had now spent so much time upside down in seawater that they were no longer functioning.

Larry and Kyle had run out of time. Larry had meetings to attend and Kyle had a court date. They needed to get home.

“No problem,” said the four helpful seamen. “We will take you back to the mainland on our super-speedy boat – for RM1,000!”

They had to island-hop to find a bank where they could withdraw that much.

The ride back was terrifying.

For some reason, their four saviours had turned into seagoing cowboys and their boat seemed to spend as much time in the air as in the water as it leapt from the crest of one wave to the next.

Finally, back on dry land, Larry and Kyle sighed. Perhaps a drink would calm their shattered nerves.

Searching in their tackle bags, they realised that the two bottles of scotch they had secreted away were gone.

Out on the sea, the cowboys whooped with glee.

Larry and Kyle headed home sadder but wiser men.

Ah, Murphy, you had it right, didn’t you?

* David Lavoie is a retired Canadian teacher who has made his home in Malaysia for the past four years

(c) 2008 New Straits Times. Provided by ProQuest Information and Learning. All rights Reserved.