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Wilkes-Barre, Pa., Times Leader, Casey Jones Column: Do Challengers Stand a Ghost of a Chance?

Posted on: Sunday, 12 March 2006, 06:00 CST

By Casey Jones, Wilkes-Barre, Pa., Times Leader

Mar. 12--onday morning I took an empty Rice Krispies cereal box and tossed it down the basement steps. It stuck the landing like an Olympic gymnast. Snap, Crackle and Pop are pretty amazing guys.

It occurred to me that I couldn't do that again if I threw cereal boxes down the steps for the rest of my life. It kind of proves that anything is possible.

So take heart Joe Leonardi, Kathy Scott and Chris Carney.

If an empty 19-ounce cereal box can sail down 12 steps and land upright without teetering or tottering, then yes, you can topple a sitting United States congressman.

In the 10th District, Scott, a retired school teacher/college administrator from Williamsport, will take on Don "Juan" Sherwood, R-Tunkhannock, in the Republican primary. Carney, a political science professor at Penn State Worthington, will face the winner in November.

Leonardi, a chiropractor from Dupont, will attempt to break the spell Paul Kanjorski, D-Nanticoke, has held on 11th District voters. He is running unopposed in the GOP primary.

I won't beat around the bush. Cliches are appropriate at times like this. The challengers have a tough row to hoe.

Leonardi doesn't have a prayer.

The voters don't know Scott from Adam.

Carney doesn't have a snowball's chance in hell.

And cereal boxes never land standing up.

Here's some advice

Have faith, congressional challengers. The bigger they are the harder they fall.

But remember, your backs are against the wall. Congressional upsets are as scarce as hen's teeth.

Face it. Everybody knows there's no fool like the old fool. The voters are reluctant to bite the hand that feeds them. Kanjorski and Sherwood have been bringing home the bacon for years.

Between you, me and the lamppost, I wouldn't touch the job with a 10-foot pole, but if you want it, you can't bide your time.

Don't let any grass grow under your feet. Work your fingers to the bone. If you think you can win without being busy as a beaver, you've got bats in your belfry.

Go against the grain. Put your best foot forward. Cast bread upon the waters.

I suggest you go to the voters with hat in hand. Tell them you'll be tight as a tick with their tax dollars. Tell them that if you are elected, life will be a bowl of cherries.

The campaign won't be a bed of roses. You will be forced to bear the heat and burden of the day. You've got to be willing to give your right arm.

Winning an election costs a pretty penny. They'll say you're not worth a plugged nickel. Batten down the hatches because you can bet your bottom dollar that you will be attacked.

Take the high road. Let the incumbent cast the first stone. Then turn the tables. Give them a dose of their own medicine.

Upset the apple cart, stir up a hornet's nest, be mad as a wet hen. Tell the people that the country is going to hell in a hand basket, and the Congress is a den of thieves. Say to the voters: "Hey, you and me, we're in the same boat."

Remember, all is fair in love and war and politics, so make the fur fly. Lay your cards on the table. Seize the bull by the horns. Go on the warpath.

Try to be all things to all people. Make the voters fall head over heels. And if the incumbent counts his chickens before they hatch, maybe you can cook his goose.

And remember. If you can't beat'em, you can always cliche'm to death.

Call Casey Jones at 829-7215 or e-mail cjones@leader.net [mailto:cjones@leader.net]

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Source: The Times Leader (Wilkes-Barre, Pa.)

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