Author of ‘How to Get Your Ex Back – 3 Step Plan’ Says People Obsessed with Exes Need a Reality Check
LOS ANGELES, July 3, 2012 /PRNewswire/ — In many breakups, the one who is dumped has a sudden urge to get back with their ex even if their relationship wasn’t even healthy. It’s not easy to control emotions or thoughts after a breakup. And it’s very common for an average Joe to just obsess about their ex all day long for weeks, sometimes even months, after the breakup.
Kevin Thompson, who owns and runs a website about breakups, says that this obsession is what causes people to think that their ex is “the one” for them. Breakups lead us to a state of mind which is very similar to the “fight or flight” state. After a breakup, the dumpee feels a surge of emotions which are extremely hard to cope with at the same moment. Of the many emotions they encounter some are shock, rejection, hatred, self-doubt, confusion, lack of closure, and sometimes even jealousy.
This feeling of panic and emotional trauma often causes the dumpee to do things which even makes thing worse for them, like calling their ex all the time, leaving them messages, or telling them how much they love them only to be rejected again. And every time they are rejected again by their ex, their state of panic gets worse.
One of the worst types of breakups is when the dumper doesn’t give any closure to their former lover. It leaves an unclosed loop in their mind which is very hard to get over. The more a person thinks about it, the worse they feel about their situation.
In any case, according to Kevin, the best way to go about life after a breakup is to do nothing that puts the dumpee in contact with their ex for a short while “… until your emotions are in control and you have a better outlook on your life. Whether or not you get back with your ex is irrelevant. Until you stop obsessing over your ex, you are not in a position to decide whether or not your relationship with your ex was something that you want in your life. “
Obsession is often misunderstood as love, which leads people to believe they are still in love with their ex. Whether or not they are truly in love with them can only be understood after they stop obsessing. In many cases, after they stop obsessing about their ex, their exes start obsessing about them and that’s when they realize that they are not truly in love with them and sometimes they even realize they don’t like their ex and think of them as not a nice person.
Kevin Thompson has written a guide, How to Get Your Ex Back – 3 Step Plan. Even though people come to this website in search of a way to get back with their former lover, they usually end up realizing that their ex was not the best option for them.
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SOURCE Kevin Thompson