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Mississippi Ranks Top Among iPhone Killers, Blames The Clumsiness On Obesity

August 17, 2012
Image Credit: Apple

Michael Harper for redOrbit.com — Your Universe Online

Cracked screens have plagued mankind from the first day we pocketed one of these devices. However, the problem multiplied exponentially when these displays grew to take up the entire front of the device. When the iPhone 4 was released in the summer of 2010, well, let´s just say there´s plenty of cracked glass being carried around in pockets.

Now, in what I can only assume is an effort to boost sales, warranty company SquareTrade has released a survey of their own revealing the clumsiest States in the US, determined by their own repair data.

Get ready, this one´s going to be a doozy!

“At SquareTrade, we’ve found most devices fail due to drops and spills,” said SquareTrade´s chief marketing officer Ty Shay.

In looking at their data, SquareTrade has revealed that Mississippi is the clumsiest of states when it comes to holding on to their glass slabs, be it phone or tablet. Yes, Mississippi lost to the other 49 states in both regards, collectively dropping their iPads and iPhones more than any other state. Rather, I suppose this data means Mississippi sends their phones to SquareTrade more often than other states, but let´s not let logic get in the way of the fun!

According to the handy provided graph, Mississippians are 30% to 35% more likely to accidentally damage their iPhones and then send them into SquareTrade for repair.

Sadly, whenever these Magnolia State dwellers were informed of their clumsy nature, things took a turn towards the dark side as more than one resident immediately pointed out another area where Mississippi excels: eating.

As told by USA Today, one Facebook reader commented, “Because we are (No.) 1 in the overweight contest“¦(D)ifficult to hang onto the phone when have greasy fingers from super-sized fries and jumbo grease burgers.”

I´m not sure where this reader is buying their meals, but perhaps a Steve Jobs approved vegan meal would be more in order?

Another Facebook poster also points a chubby finger towards the burger and fry diet, saying, “It can’t be good for our iPhones and iPads to be sat on by someone on a steady diet of McDonald’s and 52-ounce Cokes.”

They make their pants big in Mississippi, big enough to fit a 10-inch iPad in the back pocket. Jncos, perhaps?

Keeping Mississippi company on the top 5 states for iPhones were New Mexico, Rhode Island (neither a road, nor an island. Discuss“¦) North Dakota (It´s still a state!) and South Carolina. If Mississippi blames their clumsy nature on burgers and fries, does South Carolina blame their mishaps on delicious barbecue? I digress“¦

As for iPads, the Hospitality State also scored at the top, sending their tablets into SquareTrade for repairs more frequently than Nebraska, Washington DC (hard to hold a tablet whilst lobbying, don´t you know) New Hampshire and Alaska.

Why anyone would use an iPad when you´re in one of the most beautiful parts of the world, I´m not certain.

All in all, silly little surveys like these can be fun to laugh at, if not spark some deeper conversation and thought about why we are the way we are. Personally, I´m not surprised to see Texas score pretty well in this survey. We´re a sturdy group of people. We have a strong grip from years on the ranch. Also, we´re way too stubborn (or is it thrifty?) to be talked into buying third-party warranties.


Source: Michael Harper for redOrbit.com – Your Universe Online



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