Times Change; so Do Women

By Joanne Persinger, The Tribune, Seymour, Ind.

Mar. 10–Back in my day, the words “good” and “bad” were still in use and still had meaning.

People, for instance, were either good or bad.

Not everyone agreed in each individual case. There were good men and women who did bad things, and bad men and women who did good things, and then there were the hypocrites, who put on a good face and did what they pleased in private.

Oh, wait — that’s not right. In those days, people were merely being “discreet.” I actually heard a woman say, upon hearing about another woman’s misstep with the wrong man, “Well, if someone’s going to do something, they could at least be discreet about it.”

That’s sort of like saying, “If you’ve got vanity license plates, at least have the good sense to back into a parking spot at the after-hours club.”

I don’t remember the phrase “role model” used much, but I did hear a lot about setting a good example. Older children were expected to do the right thing, so as to set a good example for their little brothers and sisters.

When children behaved, they were good. They might get a word of praise now and then, but material rewards didn’t even get a mention. Goodness was expected.

When children misbehaved, they were bad. They were not misguided, sensitive, high-strung or just so doggone smart and beautiful and talented that they felt woefully unchallenged, which led to behavior that was just, well, on a different level than others their age.

Females of any age were held to a different standard of behavior than their male counterparts. The result was one generation of women after another who were shunned at worst and gossiped about at best if they strayed from the path set before them at birth.

They were told that they could achieve anything and to do absolutely nothing (well, except work).

Role models for women were clear-cut. It was sort of like having a teacher with flash cards, holding up one and saying, “Eva Braun — b-a-a-a-d,” and then the next, saying, “Eleanor Roosevelt — g-o-o-o-d.”

Rules mostly began with “Don’t.”

Don’t cross your legs in a short skirt. Better yet, don’t wear short skirts. Don’t call boys on the phone. Don’t go out with a boy who won’t come to the door. Don’t even look at boys. (Oh — well, OK, you can look at boys.) Don’t wear makeup. Don’t raise your voice (just listen to that nice Jacqueline Kennedy). Don’t lose your temper. Don’t back-talk. Heck, just don’t talk.

And whatever you do, don’t waste your time going to college any longer than it takes to find a husband, You’re just going to get married and quit your job to have babies anyway, and your brother Bruce could use that tuition money for something useful.

I may be exaggerating the letter, but not the spirit. Woman, thy name was “Repressed.”

The world now may not be a good one, but it is at least one in which young women are taught to be smart and strong and to hold themselves in high esteem. Their lives are in their own hands.

And that’s good.

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Persinger is community editor for The Tribune. She may be reached at (812) 523-7063 or jpersinger@tribtown.com.

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Copyright (c) 2006, The Tribune, Seymour, Ind.

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