Having sex for the first time is often remembered not as an enjoyable experience, but rather a painful one. The pain is usually caused by anxiety and the inability to relax and enjoy the act, but that’s not always the case. Sometimes, the pain continues every time you try to have sex, and that could mean that something is wrong.
Exactly how long does sex take to stop hurting? We can’t say, but we can help you figure out what’s causing it. We’ll explain everything in detail and give you a few tips that should help you enjoy sex sooner.
It’s a Common Thing
If you feel pain during the first few times having intercourse, you shouldn’t be too worried. It’s a common thing for women, even those who had sex before. Having sex is a trial and error thing, so you might experience some pain with a new partner. It takes some practice and mutual understanding to make it enjoyable every time. You can’t expect it to feel perfect every time even with a long-term partner – sometimes, the conditions just aren’t right.
Experiencing Pain for First-Timers
Most women experience pain during their first time having penis-in-vagina sex. Many different factors can cause that, but it’s generally because of the intact hymen. It will stretch and you can also expect some bleeding, but that’s all perfectly normal.
The hymen acts like a protective ring of tissue around the vaginal opening. Its size varies from woman to woman, which is why some experience more pain than others. If the hymen breaks when you have sex for the first time, it will inevitably cause some pain and bleeding. However, this doesn’t always happen, and it’s also perfectly normal to experience no bleeding during your first intercourse.
Some More Reasons
Some women think that the pain is caused by the size of their partner’s penis, which is possible but only in some sporadic cases. The average penis is shorter than the length of an average vagina, so chances are that something else is causing the issue.
One of the most common reasons for painful intercourse is the position. Some positions allow the penis to reach the deepest part of the vagina, so it touches the cervix. That can cause some pain and discomfort, and the easiest way to fix that is to try a different position. However, pain can also be caused by STDs, infections, dry skin, and allergic reactions to lubricants or condoms.
How to Make Sex More Enjoyable
There’s no guarantee that you won’t experience pain when having sex for the first time with a new partner. With that said, there are some methods you can try to minimize the chances of painful intercourse. Talk to your partner, tell him to go slow, and understand the importance of foreplay. A caring partner will be willing to do anything to make the experience less painful for you. Here are some things you can try.
Discuss What You Like with Your Partner
It’s critical that you inform your partner about what you like and don’t like about having sex. Be honest and tell him about your doubts and worries, because having sex with someone and sharing your body with them is not a small thing. You have to be ready and willing to have sex with someone. If you’re not, you should wait for a little more until you feel safer. Discussing your worries with your partner could help you feel better.
Take Your Time
Sometimes, sex takes a lot of preparation to be enjoyable. That means that you should take your time with foreplay until you feel relaxed and ready to take the next step. That way, you will likely experience less pain than jumping straight into the action, no matter if you had sex before or not.
The foreplay will help you get more aroused, and that leads to better lubrication inside the vagina. However, you should also have some lube close at hand, just in case. Experiment with the foreplay a bit until both you and your partner feel ready to have sex. Good foreplay will result in an enhanced experience that’s far more pleasurable than an abrupt, hurried sexual encounter.
Try Different Positions
Some positions are more painful than others, but that’s not the same for every woman. Don’t stick to just one position. Talk to your partner, experiment a little, and try different positions until you find the one that works for both of you.
Instruct Your Partner on What to Do
As we mentioned already, it’s important to discuss this in advance. But you should also try talking to your partner during intercourse.
When the action starts, you should do all you can to enjoy it. Take it slow, tell your partner what to do and what not to do. Create an atmosphere that keeps you relaxed and then focus on the good stuff. Use fingers, kiss each other slowly, tune in the rhythm, and don’t rush things. If a particular position is especially painful, tell your partner right away.
Don’t Expect Too Much
Having high expectations often leads to disappointment, which can in turn lead to a painful sexual experience. That’s why you should set realistic expectations, and that should make the experience more enjoyable.
The Problem Could Also Be Medical
If you still feel anxious before having sex, talk to a therapist because the reason could be psychological. In the majority of cases, it’s enough to learn how to relax and to improve communication with your partner.
But there are also medical conditions, such as vaginismus, that lead to painful sex. Talk about the issue with the gynecologist too.
Practice Makes Perfect
Sex can be very enjoyable and fun, but it can also be painful and disappointing. That’s why you should talk to your partner and take things slow. Don’t expect too much on the first try, but do the best you can to enjoy the experience. With a little practice and experimenting, you will forget that you’ve ever wondered “how long does sex take to stop hurting?”