Years of marriage can put the happiest couples through all kinds of trials and tribulations. Having kids, working two jobs, and staying healthy often takes precedence, which leads to less physical contact. You might find yourself frustrated at times, thinking how often are married couples having sex?
Well, there is no universal answer to that question. Some couples keep doing it every day. Others do it only when they have the house to themselves. There are lots of factors involved, so let’s examine the details.
What Do the Surveys Say?
Before we draw any conclusions, we should find out what the surveys say about the frequency of married sex. These surveys were conducted by entirely different organizations, but when put together, we can draw some interesting conclusions. Here’s what some of them discovered by questioning thousands of married people.
- A survey done by Newsweek magazine concludes that married couples have sex 68.5 times a year on average. That means that they have sex about twice a month. Surprisingly, the survey also found that couples who are not married have intercourse 6.9 fewer times within 365 days.
- One study concluded that married couples under thirty have sex 112 times a year. The number of sexual encounters keeps dropping as the couples get older.
- Durex did a global survey on sex and came up with some interesting numbers. According to their survey, over 44% of couples are unhappy with what goes on in the bedroom. On the other hand, more than half of all participants said that a healthy sex life improves their relationships with emotional benefits. The survey also concluded that couples who have sex regularly feel more attractive and less stressed. Functional couples are aware of the importance of having sex regularly. The primary reasons that contribute to less sexual encounters are too much work, bad finances, and low job satisfaction.
- Playboy did a survey in 2019 which proved that married couples have a better understanding of the importance of sex. This results in better relationships and improved satisfaction.
- David Schnarch, Ph.D., did a study on over 20,000 couples and found out that only 26% of married couples have sex once a week. According to his study, most couples have sex twice a month.
- Another survey by Durex in 2013 also had some interesting results. Up to 90% of people think that sex gets better with age. It also showed that 96% believe that sex is best when the partners are emotionally connected.
As you can see, the results are very different for every survey. There is no universal answer to how often are married couples having sex. Apart from the external factors, the libido has a significant role as well.
Is Your Libido Normal or Is It Higher?
Sex is important in every relationship because it keeps couples together. Sex drive plays a major role, and problems often transpire when one of the partners has a bigger desire for sex. If you have sex less frequently than you want, and if you get rejected often, you are bound to feel frustrated.
This often makes people analyze themselves, trying to figure out if they are too horny and if other couples are experiencing the same problem. So, if you think that you don’t have sex as much as you’d like, your sex drive could be higher than normal. The truth is that there is no right answer to the question: how often should a married couple have sex. However, if you are unhappy, you have to do something about it as soon as possible.
What to Do to Make Sex Better in a Marriage?
Many couples are unhappy with their sex life. Both partners face all kinds of problems that can lead to having less physical contact, some of which are just temporary. One thing for sure; married couples have less sex than before they got married. Cosmopolitan’s survey proved that married couples have sex less often than previously, no matter what age they are.
If the problem is prevalent and if it doesn’t go away after some time, you should definitely visit a sex therapist. Books about marriage and sex can also help you gain a different perspective. Plan some special moments like a romantic weekend or a long vacation to reignite the spark in the bedroom.
Tips that Will Help You Improve Your Sex Life
You don’t need to spend thousands of dollars on a weekend away every month to get your partner interested in having sex. There are many other things you can try to improve your sex life. Here are some useful tips to get you on the right track:
1. Quality Over Quantity
Having sex more often is not always the best solution, especially when married. You should always try to improve the quality of the act rather than the act itself. Talk to your spouse, discuss what makes you happy in the bedroom. Take things slowly, listen to what your partner has to say. A little bit of compassion and open conversation can change the game completely.
2. Schedule Your Sex
Contrary to popular belief, scheduled sex can work wonders. Try picking a day or two during the week when you will have sex with your partner and stick to the schedule. That will help maintain your excitement about having sex because you know when it will happen. Do everything you can to prepare the perfect conditions to ensure that the schedule is followed.
3. No Room for Negatives
If lack of sex frustrates you, stop thinking negatively and try to work things out in your head. Don’t compare your sex life to others and don’t take it out on your partner. Talk to your partner and spend some time doing the things you like. The sex will follow.
4. Feel Sexy at Home
Feeling sexy doesn’t have to be exclusively about how you look. Many married couples forget about feeling and looking sexy, and this can create problems in the long-term. Instead of thinking negatively, try focusing on the good aspects of your sex life. Think about what makes you feel sexy and use that idea to promote how you feel. Buy new clothes, get a new haircut, do anything you can to feel better about yourself. Your partner will notice the change, and you will feel more positive about yourself and your sex life.
5. Don’t Blame It on Your Partner
Blaming your partner for the lack of sex in a marriage will get you nowhere. It won’t make things better, only worse. If the two of you can’t click on the subject, go to a sex therapist, and work things out from there.
It Takes Two to Tango
Answering the question of how often are married couples having sex isn’t all that easy. There’s no real answer because it depends on many different factors. If you’re not happy with your married sex life, you should talk to your partner and seek a compromise.
If that’s not working, talk to a sex therapist, and make a change to your routine. Whatever you do, don’t blame it on your partner because the cause is usually something entirely different. No one can help you as much as you can help each other.