Why do we Facebook stalk our exes?

It’s a familiar scene on TV: A character, newly empty wine glass in hand, stares angrily at their Facebook while going on a jealous rant about the new person showing up in their ex’s profile picture. We’re willing to bet that you’ve done the same thing, too. Well, thanks to scientists from Ohio State University, Columbus, the University of Hawai’i at Manoa, Honolulu, we now have a quantitatively-derived answer for what drives such “Facebook stalking”: Distress.

The study, which is published in Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking, had 431 participants complete an online survey. The survey aimed to evaluate the relationship between factors like attachment, investment in the relationship, level of commitment, responsibility for termination of the relationship, emotional distress after the breakup, and seeking relationship alternatives and level of interpersonal electronic surveillance (the more scientific phrase for Facebook stalking).

A messy breakup means more stalking

The duo discovered that the one key factor related to how much “surveillance” went on—level of distress caused by a breakup, according to a release. Those who experienced more distress were those who were more invested in their relationship, more committed, and often were on the receiving end of the breakup. Naturally, those who were more distressed were found to monitor an ex’s Facebook much more frequently than those less affected.

This behavior could make it harder to recover from the breakup. “Given their affordances, social media are discussed as potentially unhealthy enablers for online surveillance after relationship termination,” wrote the authors.

“Since stress may trigger problematic internet use, psychologists may wish to assess for increased usage by their patients during periods of stress, such as a relationship’s dissolution,” said Brenda K. Wiederhold, PhD, MBA, BCB, BCN, and the Editor-in-Chief of Cyberpsychology.

In other words, the people who aren’t quite over their relationship yet are more likely to prolong their pain using social media—so couples who have split may also want to “break up” online. (It’s probably for the best.)

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