Everybody loves a good session between the sheets, but sometimes things end a little more quickly than anticipated. It’s more common than you might think, with one study suggesting that nearly half of all men are finished within two minutes.
Most guys see this as not long enough, and so they cast about the internet trying to find out how to last longer in bed. You need to look no further, gents, as we’ve got some of the best tips and tricks right here.
You might have heard of these as something the ladies do. It turns out that they can be just as helpful for guys. One study found that 75% of men who did Kegels improved erectile function, and another showed that 61% of men doing them were cured of premature ejaculation. In other words, Kegels will help keep you stay harder for longer.
Kegels work out the pubococcygeal (pelvic floor) muscles, which are the ones you tense to cut off the flow of urine when you’re peeing. Clench the muscles for ten seconds at a time, and try to do three sets of 10 reps per day. One bonus is that you can do them pretty much anywhere, so if you find yourself with a bit of downtime, get flexing.
Try Different Positions
Variety is the spice of life, and it also might well help you last longer. Sticking to the same old routine can condition your body to expect the same result. Mixing things up will not only stop you from settling into a rut, but the effort and attention it takes to try new things can help you last longer. If you’re focused on holding your partner’s ankles around your ears as she dangles off the side of the bed, you’re probably going to be a bit distracted from the sprint to the finish line.
One position to steer away from is doggy style, as it encourages fast and deep sex, and so a quicker end. You could go with the old faithful missionary or let your partner take the reins by having her on top. If she’s taking the lead, you’re not going to be able to pound your way to a swift conclusion.
Practice makes perfect, and sex is no different. Knowing how to use your instrument properly is always a good idea, and practicing the technique known as edging while masturbating can help you to improve your control over when you come. This is a form of biofeedback, where you learn to control your bodily functions.
The idea is to bring yourself to the edge of orgasm, before pulling back from the brink by stopping until you’ve got yourself back under control. By repeatedly doing this, you can train your mind and body to have greater control, plus you can learn the signs that you’re about to finish so that you can take a breather when things are getting too hot and heavy to handle.
Don’t Just Thrust
Sex isn’t all about the penetration, and there’re loads of other things that you can do in bed with your partner that isn’t just the old in-and-out.
The majority of women need more than just vaginal sex in order to reach orgasm, so why not give her clitoris the attention it needs and deserves? You can use your hands, your mouth, toys, or you can massage the tip of your penis on her clitoris, and up and down the outside of her vagina. There’s plenty of nerve endings around the entrance as well as deep inside, so deeper isn’t the only way to go to get your partner’s toes curling.
Plus, when you’re inside her, you don’t have to just thump away like a jackhammer. Try to press your penis against her G-spot, and maybe throw in a few of those Kegels you’ve been practicing at the same time. Or let her get on top and grind away, as that will increase both vaginal and clitoral stimulation for her, and leave your hands free to give her some extra attention.
Don’t try blaming your sexual woes on the condoms you use. A study has shown that men who complain of erectile dysfunction because they are using condoms are very likely to have trouble with or without the intervention of a rubber.
In fact, condoms inherently reduce how much sensation you will feel during sex. Most manufacturers have extra-thick versions that will desensitize you even more, which means that you should be able to last longer.
Plus, unless you’re in a monogamous, long-term, and trustworthy relationship, you should really be using a condom anyway. Safe sex is never a bad idea, and the responsibility rests equally on both partners’ shoulders.
While there are a number of drugs available worldwide that supposedly improve sexual stamina, you won’t find them on shelves in the USA thanks to the high standards demanded by the FDA. While some of these drugs do have proven benefits, if they’re not legal where you are, you’ll have to try something else.
One last ditch option could be certain antidepressants. Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors such as Prozac, Zoloft, and especially Paxil, may help to delay your orgasm. But they also have quite a few other side effects, including mood changes and even erectile dysfunction, which is going a bit too far in the opposite direction. Don’t try these unless directed to by your doctor.
Come as You Are
Unfortunately, we can’t all be a Sixty Minute Man like the one sung of by Billy Ward and his Dominoes. How to last longer in bed is a question on many guys’ minds, and through a combination of exercises, variety, and practice, you can increase your chances of beating the average (which is around 7 minutes, by the way).
In addition to the suggestions above, it’s always helpful to eat healthily and to get regular exercise other than just tensing your pelvic floor muscles. A healthy mind and body will always be a good thing, and may well help with your stamina.