Expecting too much from your kids could actually make them perform poorly, study finds

Experts typically suggest that parents set high expectations for their children’s academic performance, but what about so-called “Helicopter Parents” who push their kids to reach unrealistic expectations?
According to a new study in published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, a parent setting expectations that are too high for their child can actually have a negative impact on the child’s academic performance.
“Our research revealed both positive and negative aspects of parents’ aspiration for their children’s academic performance. Although parental aspiration can help improve children’s academic performance, excessive parental aspiration can be poisonous,” study author Kou Murayama, a metacognition researcher at the University of Reading, said in a statement.
In the study, researchers examined information from a 2002 to 2007 survey of more than 3,500 secondary school students and their parents living in Germany. The study examined student math achievement along with parental aspiration, such as how much parents want their child to earn a certain grade. The study team also looked at how much the parents said they thought their child was capable of a particularly good grade.
The study showed that high parental aspiration led to raised academic success, but only when it did not overly surpass practical expectation. When aspiration surpassed expectation, the children’s results dropped proportionately.
To bolster the outcomes, the scientists attempted to replicate the primary findings of the study using information from a two-year study of more than 12,000 American students and their parents. The outcomes were very similar to the German study and supplied further evidence that parents’ overly high aspirations are connected with worse academic performance by their kids.
Have realistic expectations
Prior psychological studies have discovered the connection between aspiration and academic achievement, but this study illustrates a caveat, Murayama said.
“Much of the previous literature conveyed a simple, straightforward message to parents — aim high for your children and they will achieve more,” the Reading researcher noted.
However, the new study suggested getting parents to expect the highest grades from their kids may be counterproductive and should be tempered with realistic expectations based on a particular child’s skill set.
“Simply raising aspiration cannot be an effective solution to improve success in education,” Murayama said.
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