By Benaroch, Roy
Pacifiers Q How do I get my oneyear-old son to stop using his? Will using it cause him any harm?
A I’ll admit I’m kind of a softie on the pacifier issue. They help little kids relax, and are much less harmful than many of the things adults do when they’re feeling anxious. Think about it – at least your son isn’t smoking or drinking! At one year of age, a pacifier certainly isn’t doing any sort of permanent harm to your child’s teeth or mouth. If he seems to find using a pacifier a good way to relax, I’m not sure you need to worry about it or get him to stop using it.
A good rule of thumb would be to try to limit pacifier use to his crib or bedroom starting at age two. That’s a good time to teach him to throw it back in his bed when he gets up. You can also gently suggest he go to his room for time with his “lovey” when he does get anxious, upset, or frustrated at that age. By age four, it’s a good idea to stop pacifier use entirely – though by then, almost all kids will have stopped on their own.
If your son’s pacifier use is really bothering you, you can stop it at any time. Just throw them all away, all at once, and don’t look back. After only a few days it will be as if he never used one. It might be a rough couple of days, but if you decide that the pacifier has got to go, it’s best to do it all at once. You may have heard about a method of cutting the pacifier shorter every few days, but that may lead to choking on fragments. I no longer recommend this method.
Eat Your Vegetables
Q How can I make my 5-year-old son eat his veg- 9 etables?
A Some rules cannot be broken. The three unbreakable rules of raising children are: You can’t make them sleep, you can’t make them eat, and you can’t make them poop. Making a child eat veggies isn’t something that parents ought to do.
Though you can’t make a child eat vegetables, there are things you can do to encourage him to eat a larger variety of foods as he grows older. But keep in mind that some kids – and even some adults – are going to be picky eaters. There are many adults here in the United States who never, ever eat a vegetable of any kind, without suffering any ill effects. Many foods are fortified, so your child is likely getting all the vitamins he needs even without the veggies.
Encouraging a child to eat a variety of foods starts with breastfeeding. Nursing, rather than feeding formula, offer ss very young babies a chance to experience a variety of tastes, and breastfed babies are more likely to accept a variety of flavors later.
When babies are ready to start solid meals, it’s very important to eat as a family. Children at every age should eat with their parents, so parents can model good eating behaviors: accept- ing a variety of foods, using table manners, and enjoying good conversation during a meal. (The benefits of family dining extend well beyond the picky toddler years. In teenagers, studies have shown that family dining helps prevent obesity, academic problems, and substance abuse.)
Once toddlers are past baby foods, they should be offered the same foods as everyone else in the family. Don’t assemble separate plates of food for each member of the family. Instead, have everyone sit down in front of an empty plate and help him or herself to serving platters of food (“family style” dining). Parents should not get up to prepare something different if everything on the table is refused. Getting up to make different foods for the kids encourages them to develop a habit of always refusing the first foods offered. It’s perfectly fine if some of the items on the table are things that the kids usually eat, but those ought to be part of the meal from the beginning, not added on at the end at a child’s request. And they ought to be on serving plates from which everyone can help themselves to a portion, not on individual “kid’s plates.”
Don’t make some foods available only if other foods are eaten. For example, you might be tempted to make a rule, “you can only get a brownie if you eat your broccoli.” That’s a bad idea. It makes the brownie seem extra-super special, and makes the broccoli seem extra- super bad. It reinforces the idea that broccoli is terrible, and that no one would eat it unless they got a super-special food – brownies! – afterwards.
A better plan is to decide in advance what things are in the meal, and if brownies are part of dinner, just include them on the table at the beginning. Anyone can have his brownie whenever he wishes. Don’t make some foods more “special” than others. (An even better plan for those brownies is to avoid “dessert” altogether, saving sweet treats for special times outside of regular meals. A regular meal’s dessert should be fresh fruit, maybe with some whipped cream on top. Yum!)
One goal of mealtimes is to reinforce this message for each individual of the family: Eat when you’re hungry, and don’t eat when you’re not hungry. Mealtimes should also be a time for families to communicate and share experiences together, and to learn important manners and social skills. Avoid using coercion, tricks, or rewards to get your child to eat what you think he ought to eat, or to eat as much as you think he ought to eat. You’ll have happier, healthier mealtimes, and you’ll help your child develop healthy food attitudes for his entire lifetime.
Send your questions to [email protected] or Pediatrics for Parents, PO Box 219, Gloucester, MA 01931. Please keep them general in nature as we can’t give specific advice nor suggest treatment for your child. All such questions should be asked of your child’s doctor.
By Roy Benaroch, MD
Dr. Roy Benaroch is a general pediatrician in practice near Atlanta, Georgia, and an assistant clinical professor of pediatrics at Emory University. He’s a frequent contributor to Pediatrics for Parents and has written two books for parents.
Copyright Pediatrics for Parents, Inc. May 2008
(c) 2008 Pediatrics for Parents. Provided by ProQuest LLC. All rights Reserved.
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